Scooter’s 6 Pack: Week 2

By Scott Moore | September 18th, 2002

1. Mailing One In… From Home
OK, the Redskins were out-coached, out-hustled, out-hit, out-run, out-played and out-scored. At one point, the Redskin Cheerleaders ran on to the field with a new cheer – You made us cry. You made us punt. Now it’s time to play some golf – Hey it didn’t ryhme, but at least they tried. Oh yeah, they did manage to run on the field while the Redskins were lining up for a fourth down try. The cheerleaders should have stayed on the field.

2. They Call Him Queezy
The sole bright spot for the night came from a guy nick-named Queezy. Jacquez Green did his best to keep the Redskins in the game with an electrifying 90-yard punt return for a touchdown. For one 17 second moment, the Redskins looked to be in the game. It didn’t last long, but it was a great run. There were two kinds of Queezy, 1) when Green touches the ball, 2) when Steve Spurrier took a knee on the sidelines and ruffled through the blades of grass in search of a barf bag.

3. OG’s – Oh Geez!
Remember Ben Coleman? Sure you do. You’re a Redskin fan that appreciates good play from the middle of your offensive line. But Ben Coleman isn’t on the team – is he? Instead, Brenden Stai, David Loverne and Ross Tucker took turns wiffing blocks. Whatever length of time was spent practicing the screen pass was wasted. You could almost hear them say, ‘Ah shucks; hecky darn; great googly moogly – I missed another one.’ Center Larry Moore fared no better. He was able to snap the ball to the quarterback with ease. Let’s just say the blocking part needs work.

4. 247 Channels and Nothin’ On
At half time, I began to search for some other television program to distract me from the humiliating beating I had watched for the first 29:59 and 43 seconds of the first half. I would have settled for just about anything. Even a Knight Rider re-run in Spanish ( gotta love the evil twin episode )… ‘Hola Miguel, estoy KIT…’ But NOOOOOOOOO! I had to keep flipping back to see my Redskins. Reminds me of the true story of a man attempting suicide with his ball-pean hammer. He hit himself in the head 47 times with that hammer… and lived – and the emergency room couldn’t contain their laughter.

5. Remember the Muppets?
Thank goodness the Monday Night Football crew kept showing Al Michaels and John Madden in the booth. Just in case, we as the viewers, were to become confused. It’s always important to SEE the announcers in the game … isn’t it? The pair grew to gain a striking resemblance to the two old men in the balcony during the Muppets Show. The pair were on the verge of telling knock-knock jokes. And Melissa Stark, the sideline reporter, was blasted by Eagles Coach, Andy Reid for a simple question. She asked, ‘Coach your team blew a 14-point lead last week, could you do it again – we need the ratings.’

6. Compass Please
Where do we go from here. Redskin Fans have been in the depths of the abyss over the years. We’ve been teased by pretenders, embarrassed by beginners and humiliated by fence-menders. What ever direction we go, we still go as Redskin Fans. Sure, I hope we go in the direction of the playoffs – as we all do. Last night’s loss was painful and frustrating. When pain and frustration are around, it’s often a great motivation for change. One way or the other, we will improve.

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore