Scooter’s 6 Pack: Giants

Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

1. Hexed
There is simply an unusual air in Giants Stadium. Until Sunday, I didn’t even know that I had Smell-A-Vision… but I’m certain I smelled something. (Especially when Chris Collinsworth openned his mouth – don’t wanna know where he’s been nor what he’s put in his mouth). The Skins turned the ball over EIGHT times – Three Fumbles, Four INT’s and once on downs. Still the Skins were in the game until the very last snap… which was fumbled. It’s over – but we’ve gotta learn from it.

2. Inside Turnovers
Clinton Portis doesn’t fumble… at least not until last Sunday. The hits weren’t unusually hard, but the ball was on the ground far too often from Portis. We all make mistakes – but when superstars make mistakes it’s tougher to digest. It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Nothing we can do about it – hard as we may try – but just sit there with stupid looks on our faces and mutter words with lots of alliteration. This too shall pass – really, it will pass. The Skins will learn to take care of the football. Ramsey and Brunell will learn to THROW THE BALL AWAY! I’m having t-shirts printed – “when in doubt THROW THE BALL AWAY into the third row”.

3. Sputter, Cough and Drops
I had a lawnmower that started the first time out of the box. Every time I tried to start it afterwards, it sputtered, coughed and shook – as if I were simply asking the impossible. Remind you of anything? No, if my lawnmower could haul itself up to the top of my roof and drop itself onto well placed rocks… eight times then it might remind you of something. Yep, the Redskins offense. The offense has been offensive in so many ways. The Offense has given up more points that the Redskins Defense has allowed all year. I guess we’re not asking enough of our defense – now they need to score at least 7 points a game to get a “W.” Drops, penalties, and turnovers don’t make anyone in burgundy and gold happy. If you take your children anywhere near Redskin Park this week, you better cover their ears!

4. Shockey a Star?
Tight ends generally do two things to become successful in the NFL – block and catch passes. Shockey does neither very well. He blocks about as well as Deion tackles. The catches about as well as… I guess I don’t have much room to talk here. The Redskins had six drops by my count on Sunday. But Shockey is hailed as “One of the best TE’s in the NFL – if not THE best.” What? I don’t like the G-men anyway – but to call any of them…”one of the best” is simply stupid. That includes ol’ gap tooth, fake sacker, I don’t like my coach – Strahan. The G’men were handed the game, over and over, and over eight times… and STILL almost couldn’t take it.

5. Morton Salty
Even though he didn’t put points on the board, Chad Morton was salty on Sunday. Morton should be more involved in the Skins offense. The Skins offense needs something… Morton just may provide the added ingredient needed. Morton is slippery, shakes and bakes, and gives everything he’s got on every play. At 5-8, 200 lbs. he’s a little guy in a big-guy’s game. As the offense struggles, Morton is relegated to punt and kickoff returns… not enough for my taste.

6. September Super Bowl
I don’t know about Skins fans in other parts of the world – but Skins fans in my neighborhood are preparing for one of, at least two Super Bowls on Monday Night. The neighbors – who don’t know me – have been warned of forthcoming yalps. The phone will be off the hook, the big screen/surround sound will be on, my dog Jake will be wearing his Redskins bandana and I will be glued to the sofa. The outcome of this game will determine the success of this season for me. This time, the Redskins will be ready for the Boys from Dallas. The little hairs are standing up on the back of my neck as we speak! This IS the Super Bowl for me… let’s talk next week.

– Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

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