Cheap Seats: Football… With or Without the Sex?

Archive: The Cheap Seats

Football and sex. These days, the two seem to be more closely linked than beer and wings. The two have always seemed to find themselves in the same bed (yes, pun intended). Sure, you hear stories about the wild lives led by pro athletes in other sports like the ones that former Major League pitcher Rob Dibble spins about his days as a “Nasty Boy” as he now serves as the colorful sidekick on the Dan Patrick Show. You also hear about the NBA and their off-court activities but anymore that seems to deal more with smoking pot and fathering illegitimate children throughout the various NBA cities. But watch a televised non-NFL game and other than the guy who sprouts blue horns because he is all hopped up on fun pills, you normally don’t see the Penthouse-esque type of commercials (the twins) or tightly spandex wrapped cheerleaders bouncing all over the sidelines and spilling into your living room.

Now don’t think that I am an ultraconservative, one that thinks that the cheerleaders should wear parkas or turtlenecks because in their current attire some of those gals would draw looks from a nudist colony. Oh no, I just think that scantily clad people and sexual innuendo has its own place in our society. It isn’t on the sideline of football games and it certainly isn’t on my television during daylight hours when I am watching the game with my family and have to explain not the complexities of the Cover 2 defense but rather why a women would wear something that resembles (in size) the outfit that my daughter has removed from her Barbie doll. I have to admit the whole concept of cheerleaders after the college and in some cases, the high school level, is lost on me. But I know that to some, like my daughter, they are the reason that people come to the games. At the NFL level, they seem to be little more than window dressing and they add to the image that the NFL in some part uses sex to sell their sport and considering the product (football) they have been able to put on the field, it seems unnecessary.

The pregame intro for the Cowboys-Eagles game was truly amazing. Not because of the towel dropping…well, check that, it was amazing because of the towel dropping. It was amazing considering what CBS and the NFL had just gone through following the notorious “wardrobe malfunction”. The FCC had carved them up for something that they seemingly had little control over. But the Monday night intro that was put together by ABC and was much more clear to its viewers than was Janet’s ‘appendage’. The NFL of course admonished ABC for its shameless but clever plug for its very racy hit show, and the FCC claimed no foul had been committed by either entity.

Personally, I didn’t care for it, no matter the time of day or night. As I have stated, when I sit down to watch football I expect to see just that. Not a trailer for The Graduate 2004 starring T.O. or any of the NFL’s bright stars. Similarly, when I sit down to watch NASCAR, I don’t expect to see a football or baseball game break out either. After the intro was over I immediately though about how I would have had to explain it to my kids but thankfully wouldn’t have to since they were tucked away in bed. But those not in the Eastern time zone wouldn’t be so lucky. I just hope that the family wasn’t eating dinner with the game on. That would certainly make for some interesting dinner conversation, eh?

I wish the NFL would just stick to what they know and what the fans want to see when they plop down to watch America’s sport. Just the plain, old fashioned, wholesome entertainment that we all love…football. Leave the sultry stuff to the late night cable channels that are watched by drunk guys in hotel rooms, snickering and making crude jokes.

I will take my beer cold, my wings hot and my football without the sex, thanks.


Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Les Barnhart

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