Scooter’s 6 Pack: 49ers

Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

1. A Weak “W”

In years past, Redskin Fans have been treated to watching the defeat of our beloved team by a hapless bunch of chumps like the 49’ers. This year, we have the pleasure of complaining that we didn’t win by a wide enough margin… or is it just me? The 49’ers have a woeful lack of talent, a putrid system and half their cheerleaders used to be men. The Redskins got the win, but this game should not have been close. I’ll take a weak win over a weak loss, but I’d really love to see our Redskins positively pound a team into the turf for 60 minutes. Were we saving something for this week’s game? Oh, that would be a huge GIFT!

2. Hands to the Face My Butt

After we were officially warned by the NFL that we would no longer be invited to the post game press conferences with the NFL Officials we’ve decided to be careful this week. Well, that’s not very likely now is it? This week the official actually had a flag in his hand with his arm cocked before the snap of the football. He’d decided to call some type of penalty on Fred Smoot – he’d just make it up after the play. Luckily for the official, the 49’ers ran a play on a quick count. By mistake the officials microphone was on as the play was whistled dead:
Umpire: What do you got?
Linesman: I threw a flag.
Umpire: Yeah, nice toss – did you see a penalty?
Linesman: Uh, I think so – it’s on Smoot – I hate that (bleep)
Umpire: Me too. Well you’ve gotta call something. Hands to the face?
Linesman: Yep, that’ll do.

3. Royal Dance

The Redskins were so bad in the redzone, because they were afraid Robert Royal would score another TD. Robert Royal’s dance was so bad that he’s not being allowed to score another TD this season. That’s really bad. Who cares if he’s open? Who needs touchdowns when we can get three easy points. My dog hurls exactly like Robert Royal dances. Now we have the name for Royal’s dance at least : Max Puking Green Olives. He’s doing OK now – but he puked when he saw Royal’s dance.

4. D to the Rescue

The defense saved the day for the Skins… again. This time they took their game to a whole new level – scoring points and setting up scores. Sean Taylor and Antonio Pierce shocked the San Fran crowd by returning interceptions to set up points and extra points. Shawn Springs was sorely missed, but this unit was simply awesome. The scary part was the seemingly desperate attempt to get the ball into the endzone – this should be noted by the offense. At some point this season, the offense needs to score so often that the defense doesn’t have to worry about scoring points.

5. Boys 1

The Dallas Cowboys are tied with the Redskins at 5-9. They’ve already won the first matchup with the Redskins and have their sights set on the playoffs. The Cowboys mystique is crumbling and the frustration in Dallas is easy to see. Julius Jones has taken over in the Cowboys backfield and he’s given their faithful plenty to cheer about. It’s payback time, made all the sweeter by the game to be hosted in Dallas. This time, the Redskins are clearly the better team. The only question is: Will the real Redskins please stand up?

6. Boys 2

The answer is YES. I’m hoping to see a Redskin come out and guarantee the victory in Dallas. If I do it – it just doesn’t carry the friction and weight I’m hoping to see. It’s time for this team to begin to earn wins and take the next step to be better. Are we ready? Uh, yeah – we’ve been ready for 10 years. This game has more than a win/loss record. It’s more than an NFC East game. This is a pressure game, on the road, against the damn Dallas Cowboys. Those fluky, get every call, every bounce, make you wanna-throw up- Dallas Cowboys. Looking forward, this game can be the trigger to our future success. Ready?

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

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