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A Giant Pain

By Mark Solway | September 25th, 2007

Ouch. That one hurt. I mean, what can you say about that. Not much without violating that little ‘no cursing’ rule they have ’round this forum. It was like watching a horrible car accident before it happens, and not being able to warn those involved. I could feel it coming in the second half when the Giants scored right away. The Redskins looked uninspired and not ready to play coming out of the locker room. Well, anyway, before I go depressing myself any further, here are my random and much maligned thoughts…. Pathetic. Disgusting. Poor. Repulsive. Nauseating. Just plain embarrassing. Thanks but no thanks. We all love Mr. Lombardi, and even with the fact that the helmets and pants were brighter than the sun, it’s time to burn ’em. You don’t lose a game like that and then wear those suckers again. iBuck. I am convinced that Joe Buck is a highly-sophisticated robot, sent to conquer sports broadcasting. It’s genetically impossible for one man to have that voice AND perfect hair. The Man I Hate to Love. Troy Aikman. Can this guy just be an idiot so I can go back to hating him please? Why does he have to be all reasonable and unbiased, and even compliment the Redskins once in awhile? He was even dead-on in comparing RFK to FedEx Field. Life was so much simpler when I could hate him without feeling guilty about it. Sheesh. Mr. Pierce, meet Mr. Portis. Aikman was even right about Portis being a solid pass blocker. Early on in the game, Portis steps up and clocks Pierce in the mouth, which drew a nice round applause from my end of the couch. I’ve made my feelings known in the past regarding Mr. Pierce, but his continued lack of class (mock-waving to the fans after the game) towards the fans that he once claimed he loved brings to mind some very choice expletives. Scrum. I noticed that on Eli’s fumble, how many Redskins were around the ball for the recovery. True, the blitz was on, but it still seemed like they were flying to the ball in the first half. They would have been flying to the ball in the second half, but they were tied and gagged in the locker room while imposters stole their uniforms and proceeded to lose the game for us. True Calling. If you believe in past lives, then Clinton Portis was Nadia Comaneci in a past life (yes, I know she’s not dead). First a couple of brilliant cartwheels last year, and now the head stand. I’m now waiting for a double salto. Don’t Be Alarmed. I’m getting a bit nervous about how easily the Giants ran the ball wide to Andre Carter’s side. Troy even pointed it out (darn him). Hopefully, the Redskins can address this, otherwise, we’ll be giving up 8 yard runs too often. I Want My Money Back. This is now the third game I’ve noticed the lack of replays on certain key plays. I want to see the replay of Eli getting smushed. It’s a sack, how do you not replay it 47 times? And this is America. We have replays of everything – the war, dads getting smacked in the jewels by waffle balls, Nancy Kerrigan crying her eyes out lying on the floor, and yet I can’t get a replay of a sack. Thank you Fox. Really, Don’t Be Alarmed. It seems as if defensive linemen are getting pretty good at anticipating Campbell’s cadence. I know it’ll take time before he is mature enough to think of everything as he stands behind center, but I just hope he learns it before some big, fast dude ends his career with a blind side hit. Grumble. There’s obviously quite a bit of grumbling in Redskin Nation over the past couple of days regarding the final set of downs. I, for one, think that the play calling was fine, and it was a failure to execute. Here’s my thinking: First down; the spike. Okay, I can live with it. Others have argued that they should have run the play action pass to Sellers on first down. But if he catches that pass, there’s a good chance he’s stuffed short of the goal line, because the ‘backer was right on him. So now you have to scramble to get set, and you only have about 45 seconds to run as many as three plays, one of which wants to be gut left. Plus, you’ve now given yourself three downs to score from the one. Piece of cake, right? Second down: play action pass. I like the call. The typical version is run, run, play action pass on third down. Here, Al is trying to catch the Giants sleeping. Unfortunately, they weren’t. Even if Sellers catches the ball, he doesn’t get in. Third down: run off-tackle left. This is the Washington Redskins. We own third and goal from the one. It’s who we are. There is no reason why we should not be able to score here. Betts makes a mistake when he cuts back inside, when Sellers had cleared a lane to the outside. If Betts waits another split second and cuts outside, we’re into OT. Fourth down: run off tackle left. This is the Washington Redskins….blah blah blah (see above). I still think this is the right call. The Rams would roll the QB out. So would the Falcons and the Eagles. The Redskins run the ball right down your throat. This time, it didn’t happen. So I see it as a failure to execute, rather than poor playcalling. Which brings me to my only complaint: why wasn’t Portis in there? The game is on the line, you want your playmakers out there. Portis has this greased pig sort of ability to squeak through the smallest of spaces and create room to run. In a situation where every inch counts, it seems like a no-brainer to me. My guess is that it was Joe Gibbs’ call, and yet I still can’t understand why. Mint, please. The worst thing about a loss like this is the aftertaste that will last through the bye week. I know, I know, we’re 2-1, which is where we had thought we’d be anyway. But when the waiter brought by the 3-0 dessert cart, my mouth started to water. And yet we chose the 2-1 after-dinner chocolate covered poopy. I just hope that this loss doesn’t hurt us in the end. Onward, Upward. I see three possible outcomes from this game. One, the Redskins use this as a valuable lesson that a football game is actually 60 minutes long, and in order to succeed, they need to punch the other guy in the mouth until the gun goes off. Two, they spiral out of control to a 6-10 record, including two losses to the hated Cowboys. And three, which may be the worst of them all, the Redskins continue to play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde football, beating a very good team here and there, and then losing to mediocre teams. Like that cheerleader in high school, they stroke our hope, then leave us with blue…..um, feelings. Personally, I’m voting for option one, but I’m interested to see how the Redskins players…

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