The NFL Network Dining Experience

By Mark Solway | December 11th, 2007

Did you not see this win coming a mile away? I could have told you the Redskins would win days before the game. When have they ever missed an opportunity to raise our hopes about a playoff spot? I wouldn’t be surprised if they pull out another squeeker this weekend against the Giants, just to drag it out a bit longer. Awhile back, a very wise man wrote this: And three, which may be the worst of them all, the Redskins continue to play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde football, beating a very good team here and there, and then losing to mediocre teams. Like that cheerleader in high school, they stroke our hope, then leave us with blue…..um, feelings. It looks as if we are once again that nerd in high school who gets to go out with the hot cheerleader, only to find out afterwards it was all a big joke. On to the drivel. Check, please. The difference between the high quality of the NFL Network pregame, and the absolute atrocity of in-game commentators was like having the best appetizers you’ve ever had, and then being served poop on a plate, with a side of vomit (Gumbel being the poop, Collinsworth the vomit). The on-field pre-game reports and interviews, the camera work, the Sean Taylor tribute, everything about the pre-game seemed better than I’ve seen from Fox or CBS this year. And then, once the game started, it all fell apart…. Work with me. Okay, whoever made the decision to film the old head-turning shot for Todd Collins deserves big props. I mean, what are the chances you’ll need that? New from Halls – The Brain-cell Killing Lozenge! Greg – it’s ‘Anwaan’, not Anton. Cripes, he’s only been in the league six years. Sheesh. Kiddie size. Brad Maynard either needs a larger helmet or a smaller forehead. Out, damn’d spot, I say! It felt dirty and wrong to cheer when Romo hit Witten for the game winner against the Lions. I showered afterwards. Things that make you go ‘duh’. The fact that JC had attempted more passes in the last three weeks than any other Redskin in history has much to do with the absolute dismal performance of the o-line in the running game during that span. I don’t want to look up the stats, for fear that we’re averaging two yards per carry or something like that. But I’ve noticed a trend of a lot of big guys standing around the line of scrimmage after the play, while Portis is on his back. Love. I love it when Gregg Williams sends 8. Boing. As scary (and embarrassing) as it might have been, I laughed when that joker who ran onto the field literally bounced off of Tommie Harris. Kudos. To Springs and Randle El, who despite being doubtful for the game, toughed it out, played hurt, and both turned in good performances. Double kudos. Go to Smoot, for coming back on the field during crunch time after being treated for cramps. Speaking of which… Springs interception at the close of the first half was a huge gamble on his part. He did a great job being aware of the blitz, and that the ball would be thrown quickly, and jumping the route. But there was no safety help behind him, so if Hester gets behind him, it’s six. Speaking of which, part deux… Sweet play call by Saunders on the touchdown before the half. I fully expected him to call a run play, gain a yard or two, call a timeout with 4 seconds left, and go into the half with a 3-0 lead. It looked like the Bears expected that as well. Speaking of which… (where will it end?!?) Yoder made a great catch, with the defender hanging onto the ball. Judge him by his size, do you? Trendy. I’m hoping that the recent trend of getting the ball to Portis on screens and short dump offs will continue. He seems to do his best work beyond the line of scrimmage, where he can fake defensive backs and linebackers out of their jockstraps. With the run game hurting, it may be the only way to get the elusive, slippery fellow into the game. Love. I love that it very rarely takes less than three guys to take Cooley down. Bum-smacker. I have come to the conclusion that Marcus Washington, whatever his sexual preference, loves to smack people on the bum. Players, coaches, refs, no one is safe. Hope for different results. I couldn’t help but think, when Collinsworth states that we’ll enjoy watching Laron Landry play for years to come, that many commentators had said the same exact thing about Sean Taylor, and yet here we are without him. License and registration, son. Did you notice the guy driving JC’s cart after he popped his knee? He looked like he was about 14 years old. And that’s fine for when Jimmy Farris stubs his toe, but this is the franchise quarterback we’re talking about here. Get a driver who has at least gone through puberty. My house. As dumb as Landry’s personal foul was, I can’t blame him. Sure, chalk it up to a rookie mistake, but you can’t tell me that receivers won’t think twice about venturing into his neighborhood. E6. Despite the stress of the situation, I had to laugh at Sellers for letting the onside kick go through his legs. I’m sure he’s getting it from all sides in the locker room for that one. True colors. Gumbel is going on and on about how Ogunleye is being held, meanwhile Cooley is knocked on his keister well beyond the 5-yard mark. Figures. If the brain-cell killing lozenges didn’t to all of Greg’s brain, and his statement that the Redskins are now ties for the toughest schedule in the NFL, then my reaction is ‘Figures.’ Would I expect anything less from a season full of injuries, setbacks, blunders, and tragedies? Speaking of which (and you thought I was done)… Despite all those injuries, setbacks, blunders and tragedies, here we are with three games to go and still a chance to make the playoffs, our own destiny almost in our own hands. ‘You’re a poopyhead!’ So Desmond Clark can push Landry in the face, get up, push him again, talk trash, and no flag?!? And yet Fletcher gets flagged for taunting a few games back for talking to the bench. Sheesh. Play of the Game: 1st and goal from the one, seven minutes left in the game, ‘skins up by 7, and Griffin stuffs Peterson for a four yard loss. This puts the Bears is throwing mode, and two incompletions later, they settle for the field goal. Redskins keep the lead, and win the game. Expletive of the Week award goes to…. Me, whenever I checked in on the Vikings-‘Niners game. Most times, it was preceded by a ‘holy’, and went on to inquire as to whether the ‘Niners could do anything…