Cheese and Whine

Washington Commanders

There’s something about the Cardinals I just can’t stand, I can’t put my finger on it.  Maybe it’s the fact that they used to be in the NFC East, and we played them twice a year.  Maybe it’s their whining, annoying quarterback, or their obnoxious kicker, or that silly looking cardinal head on the side of the helmet.  Whatever the reason, it certainly feels good to beat them.

I’m excited.  I know, I know, it’s early, and we have some tough challenges ahead, but the Redskins are right where they’re supposed to be at this point.  The next two will be difficult, no doubt, and coming out of the division games on the road against the Cowboys and Eagles at 2-3 would be a success in my view.  We then have a three game stretch of Rams – Browns – Lions, all of whom are struggling.  We win those, and we’re back in the hunt for the back stretch.

And by the way, no lucky underwear this week.  The ‘help’ (a.k.a. the wife) wasn’t able to get the laundry done in time, so we were living on the edge.  No doubt I’ll have those underwear pressed and ready for next week at 4:15 p.m.  And without further ado, here’s some of the stuff that came oozing out of my brain on Sunday… 

Early and often.  When Zorn called the first play of the game for Cooley, I knew he was making a statement.  He recognized that he needed to get this play-maker more involved in the game plan, and it paid off on Sunday – 7 catches for 72 yards, and some big YAC, including a sweet call at the end to seal the game.  I get the feeling this will be a trend.

Tee Hee!  I’m not a vindictive guy, but I love that Moose gets ‘harassed’ every time he comes to FedEx.  All of you who attend games and make it a point to harass Moose, keep it up.

Just guessing….that Kurt Whiner and Neil Rackers room together on the road, and both constantly complain about the plane ride, the hotel room, the food, how rough the toilet paper is on their bums, and everything else.  Those two are made for each other.

Speaking of which…  I’m not one to complain about the refs, and Devin Thomas has a lot to learn about playing in this league, but when a receiver puts his arms out to get the defender’s hands off of him, I don’t consider that pass interference.  However, when a defender pulls on the receiver’s jersey (as happened to Cooley), that IS PI.  It’s rather simple.  I was disappointed that the refs had a direct impact on the outcome of the game – Rogers’ PI call led to Cardinal a touchdown, the delay of game call took one away from the Cards, Heyer’s ‘cheap shot’ (okay, it was cheap shot, but not a penalty – apparently you can’t hit a guy when he’s not looking anymore).  And I thought that the refs were supposed to be invisible.

Nothing wrong with that.  There’s nothing wrong with some cheerleader-grinding into the camera.  Nothing at all.  It may provoke a dirty look and some head shaking from the wife, but -TOTALLY- worth it.  Unfortunately for the ladies, not too many shots of Jason Taylor’s bum.  Too bad.

Unsolved Mysteries.  I don’t know why, but Squeeze-um seems to kick off deeper following a long field goal than he does after a touchdown or short field goal.  Maybe he’s stoked, maybe the leg is all warm, but it’s something I’ll be tracking from now on.

Unsolved Mysteries, the sequel.  Why Smoot was giving Boldin a bazillion-yard cushion with the ball on the 5 yard line, I do not know.  The guy is a slant machine – was he afraid of getting beat deep?!?

Whispers.  After last week’s silent treatment from the O-line, it was nice to see CP get a little more love from them this week (Thomas joined Heyer in the congratulations after his TD).

With a side of ‘Shut the Heck Up’.  Okay, third quarter, Redskins ball, 3rd down, close game, and Mrs. Donuts turns to me and asks, ‘What should we bring to the Smith’s* house for dinner tonight?’  To which I replied ‘How about an Ask Me After The Game Casserole?  Or maybe an It’s Third Frickin’ Down Salad? ‘  Result: dirty look, plus silence – but hey, I’ll take the dirty look, as long as it comes with the silence.  You’d think after 17 years she’d know by now.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The Brooks Watch, Week Three.  I don’t know if Brooks saved his job, but it was nice to see him get a couple of nice punts in at the end.  It was also nice to see him get some pats on the helmet from teammates.

Attention Mr. Doughty:  You left your jock strap back at the 40 yard line.  Maybe Larry Fitzgerald can pick it up for you on his way back from the end zone.

He must be reading this.  A couple of weeks ago, I ribbed Jason Taylor for being invisible during the Giants game.  In the two games since then, he’s been very good – putting pressure on the QB, deflecting passes, sniffing out screens, and playing with intensity.  I don’t want to claim that my criticism inspired him to play better…. but I will.  You’re welcome, Redskin fans.

Speaking of Jasons… Jason Campbell quietly had an outstanding game.  No mistakes, good check downs, long drives, and accurate and sharp passes.  So far, he’s thrown 4 TDs, no picks, and has a QB rating of just over 100.  Not too shabby.  Moreover, the offense seemed to have a good tempo most of the time, and in the fourth quarter, up by 7, when they needed it, the offense stepped up and took some time off the clock, even overcoming a big penalty.  This is week three, and sure we’ll face better defenses than the Cardinals, but I feel pretty good about where JC is, and where the offense is right now, especially given how early in the season we are.

It makes me all tingly.  The thing that I enjoyed the most out of the whole game (aside from watching Kurt Whiner whine) was the touchdown pass to Yoder.  I may be seeing something that isn’t there, but to me it looked like the connection between receiver and QB was close enough so that JC knew to throw behind the defender, and Yodes knew the same thing.  If that’s the case, and I’m not imagining things, then I’m excited for the future of this offense.

Personally, I’m offended.  Hey Smoot, if you’re going to get a personal foul for roughing the QB, at least knock him to the ground, poke him in the eye, insult his mother, something, please.

Note to Todd Collins:  I love you, but next year’s third string QB will be Antwaan Randle El.  Book it.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight… Santana Moss may be 5′-10″ and 200 pounds (that’s what he’s listed at, but if he weighs 200 pounds I’ll eat my hat), but the guy plays like he’s 6′-6″ and 280.  He was taking some solid licks after catching the ball yesterday, and yet he continued to fight for more yards, and then bounce up after the play, as if to say, ‘You can’t hurt me!!’  The guy is a spark plug.

Ouch.  I think Coach Zorn is making great strides as a coach week-to-week, however the decision to go for a 52-yard field goal with a few minutes left in the game was a horrible decision, in my opinion.  I love the aggression, but giving the Cardinals’ offense a short field is like giving Emmitt Smith a microphone – bad things will happen.

Expletive of the Week Award goes to…Kurt Warner…for multiple semi-expletives.  I know the guy is a born-again Christian, so when he gets all heated up the worst he probably spews is ‘Gosh darnit!’  or ‘Heck!’, but we’ll give the award to him this week anyway, just for the effort.  Way to go, Kurt!

In case you didn’t know, next week is the Cowboys.  I hate the Cowboys, and I’m sure they hate me too.  Good.  That’s how I like it.

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5 thoughts on “Cheese and Whine

  1. 2-3 after The Pies and Smeagols a success?!? We’re 2-1 right now, and two more losses would make us 0-3 in the division (granted they are all road games). That’s no success in my book. Even if we were to win the following three, we would be behind the eight ball to make the playoffs because of our division record.

    Bad Joeblog! Bad! No donuts for you this week. 😆

  2. True, an 0-3 start in the division isn’t great, but I think it’s the best we can reasonably expect (maybe I’m being pessimistic). As much as I would love to see it, beating Dallas or Philadelphia in their stadium would be a major upset. If we do end up 3-3 in the division, two of the other three teams are also probably 3-3 or worse, and we have to reply on our ability to beat those other teams out there to secure our spot in the playoffs. It’s a tough road through this NFC East.

  3. I agree with JBD. I picked us to be 2-3 by week 5, but 9-7 by season’s end. If we manage to somehow pull out a win in either of these next two game, I’ll be impressed.

    I also agree that Jason Candle is having a great year so far, and it’s nice to see his QB rating in the 100’s!

  4. Good stuff Joe. I just wanted to throw in there that if you see Moss without his gear on, you wouldn’t have trouble believing that he was 200 pounds.

    The first time that I saw him in a no-pads practice at training camp, I was absolutely stunned at how ripped he was. I think people have the misconception because he STILL isn’t very big with pads on, but I assure you, he’s not a ‘slight’ receiver like many people perceive him to be. I’ll see if I can dig up one of our TC pics to illustrate the point.

    … it’s Cowboys week, gosh darnit!

  5. So, I agree with everything my husband says (I’m supposed to say that, right?), but I do have a little bit of an issue with the inequality of the eye-candy on Sunday. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice rack, hell, that’s why some of you started watching the sport in your puberty years…am I right?
    However, when you have an unbelievable specimen like Jason Taylor on the field, show us the tush a little, okay? Lots of women watch the sport now, and we wouldn’t mind seeing tush instead of boobs that make us feel bad about ourselves.
    Any ladies out there agree with me?
    Anyway, I’m glad my husband can speak his mind about the stuff he yells at the television every Sunday, that way I don’t have to hear it over and over again!
    Go Skins!

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