The Six Pack: Pam Oliver’s Giant Head

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1) One of my favorite moments from the Redskins win over the Cowboys was Troy Aikman saying, tentatively: “I believe the Redskins have won only once here in their past 13 games.” Really Troy? You believe? Because not only am I 100% certain of it, I also happen to know for a fact that you were there. Remember a certain ring of fame ceremony spoiled by a couple of late-game touchdowns? If you think hard enough, I’d be willing to bet you could remember it clearly. I should note here that as much as I hated him as a player (and mostly because he beat the Redskins so often) I think Aikman is the best analyst in the business.

2) Let me be the first to say to Brian Westbrook: buddy, take another game off. It’s such a long, grueling season, why rush back? You have to fly all the way out to San Francisco next week, I’m sure you’ll face long lines at the airport and you’ll want to do some sightseeing. San Francisco is notoriously hilly, wouldn’t want you hampered by a bum ankle. So sit, relax, you’ll get to play the Redskins again in December.

3) Pam Oliver scared the hell out of me during the broadcast. Fox cut to a sideline shot after a punt return during which Antwaan Randle El actually ran forward (novel concept) and it went like this, at least in my head: “There is Antwaan, after a so-so return, he is looking to hand the ball to an official, it sure is a sunny day, I hope the off … DEAR LORD PAM OLIVER’S GIANT HEAD IS GOING TO KILL US ALL, WHERE IN THE HELL DID SHE COME FROM? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” I assume I was not alone in that.

4) Can we get the NFL to start frowning on stupid celebrations? Brady James tackled Randle El after a four yard gain and acted like he’d dropped him for a six yard loss. Yeah, good job man, if the offense only gains four yards on each play they’ll only score every single time. You should be proud. It’s the same kind of nonsense when special teams guys go nuts after hitting someone at the 27 yard line. Celebrate when it means something, you hit a guy for a loss or a minimal gain, fine, whoop it up. But when the offense is in a better position after the play than they were before it, keep your mouth shut.

5) Here’s another highlight from the game for me. Fox cut to a crowd shot to show some devil spawn covered in Cowboys gear following the Cowboys first touchdown and then Pam Oliver tore a truck apart with her bare hands and ate it. No, wait, then the Redskins drove to tie the game. Aside from what an impressive drive that was — especially since it was the very next drive — I love the idea of going from “yeah, we’re winning, look at this cute baby wearing Cowboys stuff” to the Redskins methodically going down the field and shutting that crowd up. That kind of “whatever, we can score too” drive has been sorely lacking in recent years.

6) Obviously beating the Eagles this weekend would be huge for the Redskins but make no mistake about it, that is a very good team. All the hype about Dallas aside, I think the Eagles feature the best defense of any team the Redskins have played thus far. They excel against the run and the pass and they are a really good third down defense as well. But, for the first time in a long time, I don’t worry that the game will be a massacre. If they win, you might even be able to call me confident. Either way, this season has been a lot of fun thus far. Keep it up fellas.

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Stephen Zorio

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