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The D.C. Gossip

By Bobby Johnson | December 10th, 2008

Oh how we love our drama here in D.C.! I never watched the Gossip Girl, but here’s how I think the Redskins would be described if you asked a teenage girl. Seems fitting because it’s not far off from how the regular media is reporting it!


Okay, so did you hear that Jimmy called out CP in front of the whole world and blamed him for the Redskins entire offensive troubles?


Like, OMG!!! Right?


So then CP calls up this radio show and he’s all calling Jimmy a “genius” but in that sarcastic way, where you know he totally doesn’t mean it!


I mean, c’mon right? I’d be all mad too if my boss had just told everyone I was a loser.


So then CP is all “we never talk anymore” an stuff, and saying “maybe they should put me on IR” and all that junk, but then Jimmy says he all understands what CP is saying, and totally gets why CP would go on and slam him on the radio, while I’m all like “oh no he didn’t,” but Jimmy’s bein’ all cool about stuff.


I had to lol!


Totally, right?


So then CP is all talking about how he feels good after not playing in the big game, and then says he’ll be at practice, and you just know there’s gonna be all this drama. I would so die if Jimmy just rolled his eyes at CP, y’know? That would be too-funny and I would just have to ROTFLMAO!


I mean, everybody knows all of this is because of Jason. Do you remember last week when Jason was all “boo-hoo-hoo I’m so sad ‘cuz everyone is blaming me for everything?”  What-ever!


Jason’s just mad ‘cuz all those bullies are knocking him down and not letting him do his job because those guys who he thought were his friends can’t seem to stop the bullies from getting to him? And he’s all like “I can’t just throw the ball if there ain’t nobody open!” I know, right? Seriously!


So then Jimmy says all that stuff about CP because he doesn’t want Jason to start crying again, and Clinton’s all like “uh-uh, you ain’t blamin’ me for all this, I tried to stop them” and Jimmy’s all like “yeah, but you aren’t stopping them” so he goes and sends out Ladell who doesn’t stop those bullies either, but he doesn’t say anything about that so you just know there’s other things goin’ on between CP and Jimmy!


So I heard that Jimmy was all mad because whenever he and CP are hanging out at practice, that CP’s all just standing there and not doing anything, but CP’s all mad because he says he’s been doing all the work, but Jimmy’s all like “nuh-uh!”


Why does there have to be all this drama all the time? Why can’t Jimmy and CP just get over it and be friends? And why isn’t anyone paying attention to Freddy ‘cuz you know he’s all mad ever since everyone started hanging out with D’angelo, but everyone’s so caught up in this JZ/CP thing that they are all missing the fact that Freddy really needs a hug!


That’s all for now, see you at the Mall!!




J. LaCanfora

Categories Posted In | Washington Commanders |

2 Responses to “The D.C. Gossip”

  1. Babe,

    Loved this, like for sure. Radical in a far out way, bro.

    Posted on Facebook a comment, before I read this. We are conjuntos mi esposo.

    Translation: We are together. 🙂 Jason and Clinton sitting in DC w-h-i-n-i-ng.

  2. It sounds like now Zorn and CP are BFF.