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A Little Unexpected Competition Never Hurts.

By Mike Keys | December 19th, 2009

Posted from Curmudgeon Corner, Maine

As if things weren’t bad enough, there are now competitors in the NFC East for the counseling services that our Redskins have been offering to the downtrodden of the league. Fortunately, most can’t meet the level of services offered by the Redskins.

Take the Dallas Cowboys, for example. One week ago, while providing ego reinforcement therapy to the Kansas City Chiefs, they actually ended up causing more psychic damage, when they scored a dramatic late game touchdown. They had completely forgotten why they were there. Fortunately for KC, there was a competent service available within 7 days, and long term emotional damage was avoided.

More serious competition comes from Philly, where they have demonstrated a propensity for rescuing distressed teams. Yesterday, they did double duty… they not only assisted the Oakland Raiders to experience the illusion of light at the end of their long, dark tunnel, they even offered some solace to the fans of the Washington Redskins, by removing a bit of the motivation for fans of the Green and White to harrass us…. err… them. “Yeah, baby! The Eagles suck too!” could be heard outside of houses throughout the Washington Metro area. Every Redskins fan who has to work with an Eagles fan was thrilled at the prospect of being able to walk into work through the front door this week. How cool!

But, hey, Philly! You have an opportunity coming up this week to improve upon your technique.   Monday evening… you can not only improve the emotional status in Washington of the fans of the Redskins, you can even provide an opportunity to really boost the team’s offense… giving up 28 points would be just awesome.
Maybe you could just think about it, you know? Consider the possibilities. You could make Jim Zorn appear to be clairvoyant… weren’t you listening to today’s presser when he recalled how you guys were 2 and 4 at this point last year, yet still managed to go to the playoffs? Plus, you know, Sherm Lewis could use some strokes, too. Imagine the possibilities!

How sad is that?

The real laugher, however, is the Giants… they clearly haven’t gotten the hang of this therapy thing… I mean, you are supposed to be providing the service to winless teams… or to those who should be winless. When you are playing against a team like New Orleans, you are actually supposed to show up. That’s just embarassing. Let me spell it out for you, Eli… Lose to the teams you are supposed to defeat… That’s how this therapy thing is supposed to work. (I’m not sure how its supposed to work against teams you should lose to… we just don’t have that data yet).

But, I guess you can’t have everything.


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