Afraid of competition, Mr Mara? I have a solution!

Washington Commanders

So, I’ve been thinking.  Mr John Mara seems opposed to actual competition from his NFC East antagonists (obviously, it’s unfair that his Giants should have to incur multiple thrashings at the hands of “inferior” East division opponents)… we believe this to be true, because he elected to specifically target only NFC East teams for his “special” ruling of “violating the spirit of the salary cap” which, oh, by the way,  did not exist at the time of the contracts in question, even though multiple teams had similar responses to the uncapped year… So, how do we create a circumstance that prevents him from needing to compete… or to strain his brain conceiving thinly veiled schemes such as making up rules by which you can punish “certain” transgressors for violation of non-rules?

Let’s begin by creating a separate NFL Conference… one which completely eliminates the need for the Giants to endure the drudgery of actually having to play a contested game on the football field. We will call it the GFC… “Giants Football Conference”… it will, of course, have 4 divisions… the GFC East, consisting of the New Jersey Giants, and 3 high school teams from the Hackensack area. The GFC North… which will consist of 4 high school teams from the Newburgh NY area, the GFC West… which will consist of 4 high school teams from the greater Trenton NJ/ Washington Crossing PA area, and, of course, the GFC South, which will include 4 high school teams from the Atlantic City area.  You get the picture…

The regular season for the GFC will include 2 games (home and home) against intradivision teams, 1 game each against teams from at least one other GFC Division, and at least 4 intra conference games. In the spirit of non-competition for the Giants, these games shall be played against non-football opponents. In the first year, for example, there will be one game played against the Harlem Globetrotters, one against the Disney Stars on Ice, and away games against the Maine State Legislature, and one, possibly very challenging game against the 145th Special Operations Company of the Georgia Army National Guard (they will not be permitted to use live ammo… sorry).  I’m expecting the last game to be a loss for the G boys, despite the handicap to the home team, but since the Guard unit will play no other games, they are not likely to qualify for the playoffs…

The championship of this conference will be established in the same manner as occurs for the NFC and AFC, culminating in a Conference championship game.

In the spirit of non-competition, we will then play a selection game between the AFC and NFC champion… This game was formerly known as the “Super Bowl”. Unfortunately, we must now acknowledge that it is no longer going to be possible for THIS game to include the Giants, so can it truly be called “Super” any longer? Of course not. We will rename this game the “Game to Determine Who Gets to Play the Giants in the Real Super Bowl Bowl”. The winner of this game will go on to play the champion of the GFC. There is a strong likelihood that this will be the Giants.

As I see it… this should go a long way in paving a stress free path for one GFC team to reach the Super Bowl. It is hoped that they will have survived their difficult path with adequate strength left to compete against their NFC or AFC opponent.

BTW… there will be a system in place to create rules that will adequately ensure that either the Dallas Cowboys or Washington Redskins will not qualify beyond the “Game to Determine Who Gets to Play the Giants in the Real Super Bowl Bowl”.  It’s likely that the Eagles with get even more special treatment.

I’m thinking this is a solution that Mr John Mara could live with.   … unless we could convince him to start his own league… in Mongolia…



Please share