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The Six Pack: The Road Ahead

1) I have a confession: I cheat at minesweeper. I find even the easy version is too much for someone of my limited patience/intellect. I like to play the “custom” version wherein I make a huge board but I have only 10 mines … it takes me about two clicks to win. Sometimes I still lose, which is pathetic. But here’s why I am revealing that: when I play with the Redskins on video games, I rarely lose. Or at least I didn’t before Madden required that I have 13 arms and nothing else to do for the next six months. But even when I did face the prospect of losing, I simply hit reset and started over … or convinced a friend to leave the room and used their controller to my advantage. The point (yes, I have one) is that we, as fans, have to draw a line between the ideal and reality. Granted my basic refusal to adhere to that has crippled my dating life but, when it comes to sports, it really is the best way to approach things.

2) Ideally, the Redskins would be 3-0 right now with an offense that piled up points, a stifling defense that struck fear into the hearts of opposing quarterbacks and a special teams unit that pinned every returner on the one-yard line and never missed a kick. The reality falls short of that but I don’t think it falls quite as short as some people might believe. Let’s look at the facts: the Redskins are 2-1 having lost a road game to the now 3-0 defending champs and having managed home wins against some decent NFC teams. Jason Campbell has completed 65% of his passes, thrown four touchdowns, no picks and has a QB rating of 100.1. That rating, for the record, is a hair below Donovan McNabb and better than Brett Favre, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning.

3) Does that mean things will stay that way? Probably not but it’s a reason to be encouraged. The theme I keep returning to is one of progress, that’s what we have with Campbell. Clinton Portis is 10th in the league in yards per carry and is tied for third, with a slew of other backs (including Brian Westbrook, Frank Gore and Willie Parker) with three rushing touchdowns. Santana Moss is tied for fourth in the league with 19 catches, ahead of the (freshly suspended) Plaxico Buress as well as Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald and Hines Ward. He’s tied for third, with Terrell Owens, in receiving touchdowns and fourth in yards per game.

4) Folks, those are all stats from a brand-new offense, three games into the season. I know, as well as any of you do, that those numbers are probably going to take a hit. The team faces two very tough road games against the number four (Philly) and nine (Dallas) ranked defenses, in terms of yards allowed. But does anyone — honestly — believe this team would be facing anything less than an 0-5 hole under Joe Gibbs version 2 right now?

5) Regarding the next two opponents, it is worth noting that the Eagles defense has the second most penalties in the league and Dallas has surrendered 63 points in three games, albeit most of those in a certain Monday night game. It is also worth noting that on a purely amateur, gut instinct/probably wrong level I have told more than one person that I am “not sold” on the Eagles. In other words, bet everything you have on Philly. Make no mistake about it, these are two tough games against two good teams, my misgivings about Philly not withstanding. But, as opposed to last season, I don’t see these as hopeless contests where the Redskins are doomed to play the role of whipping post.

6) On a somewhat unrelated note, it appears the Lions have finally realized that a 31-84 record is actually quite bad and have parted ways with Matt Millen. This is actually somewhat bad news since it means Millen will likely return to the broadcast booth. I take some pleasure in his failure because he always ripped the Redskins as a broadcaster and said unbelievably stupid things. When the Lions hired him, my father called me laughing and asked, “Did you see your favorite guy got a new job? Any predictions?” My reply: “Unmitigated disaster.” But whenever you start to think the Redskins have it bad, look back over the past decade plus and ask yourself: Would I rather follow the Lions?

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Stephen Zorio

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack | Washington Commanders

The Six Pack: Much Better

After a great come from behind 29-24 victory by the Washington Redskins, here is this week’s Six Pack:

1) Hey, that was a lot more fun. A mere 10 days after putting a sizable portion of the Redskins fan base on suicide watch, the team bounced back with a thrilling win. Jim Zorn went from incompetent to gutsy, Jason Campbell went from disaster to “hey, I could get used to this” and my dog went from sleeping to scared for her life when Santana Moss scored on that beautiful bomb. Buy, buy, buy, right?

2) Not exactly, in the same vein that it was foolish to draw too many conclusions from the week 1 win, it would be irrationally optimistic (what up Greenspan?) to get giddy about week 2. That seems obvious but it’s a lesson it took me quite some time to learn. What is worth getting excited about is that the team showed progress from week 1 to week 2. That trend, more than any other, is what will ultimately define this season as a success or a failure.

3) Obviously, the most important thing here is how this influences the Redskins standing in the approximately 47,000 different power rankings, which exist on the Internets. There is no more reliable way to objectively gauge the potential of your team than an opinion-based list. Just like the best dressed lists, worst dressed lists and my hottest neighbors list* that we all rely on to make crucial decisions, power rankings are an essential part of life.

3) Power rankings are utterly worthless; they are a silly exercise in an attempt to drive traffic to the sites that feature them. Putting aside the odd notion that one can even rank power, they are based on opinions. The crew over at Pro Football Outsiders does a nice job of putting together the closest thing I have seen to a factually based ranking of teams but most of these things are meant to spark outrage. When you get angry, you visit the site that outraged you and you interact with said site. The more people who do that, the more money the site makes.

4) Stop being the sucker, if it makes you feel better, create your own list. Post it on your fridge and yell at it in the morning while you eat breakfast. Imagine how great it would be to have this conversation at work:

Coworker: “Hey man, you look angry, what’s up?”
You: “Oh, nothing, my stupid refrigerator has the Eagles ranked above the Redskins, I hate that thing so much.”
Coworker, moving away nervously: “Yes … I can see why that would upset you.”
You: “If it happens again next week, I’m ripping out the ice maker. That’s not an idle threat.”

5) See, the idea that certain people are football experts bothers me. ESPN has a commercial where it’s football crew is “hilariously” asked to testify on global warming and we are “hilariously” reminded that is not their subject of expertise. Chris Berman sits on that panel. Really? In what world is he an expert? Steve Young, Tom Jackson and Mike Ditka, fine, they can legitimately be assumed to have some expertise. But Berman? Why? This is a guy who has mastered the art of talking about sports without saying anything of substance. Hold on a second … OK, I’m back, I had to punch my fridge for calling me a hypocrite.

6) Next up are the somewhat surprising 2-0 Arizona Cardinals. I saw somewhat surprising because 2-0 loses its luster a bit when you consider they’ve beaten the 49ers and the Dolphins thus far. That isn’t to say I take the Cardinals lightly, their wideouts — Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin — are a nightmare match-up and Kurt Warner is a solid veteran. But this is also a team that has played two opponents in rebuilding mode and has already surrendered five sacks on the season. This game will present an interesting litmus test for both franchises. Given that the ‘Skins travel to Philly and Dallas for weeks 4 and 5, getting a win here would be a great way to hit the road.

*Honestly, this list lacks candidates, please encourage any attractive women you know to be my neighbor.

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Stephen Zorio

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack | Washington Commanders

The Six Pack: Panic Attack

The Six Pack is back, offering Washington Redskins fans the unique musings of Stephen Zorio.

1) The annual Washington Redskins Fans Panic & Picnic has come a bit early this season. The picnic was tremendous, even if I was the only one there. Again … except for the kids who stopped to throw rocks … again. Well, guess who has a whole room full of rocks now suckers? As for the panic, typically Redskins fans have the good sense to wait until week 3 (a.k.a. the week that reveals everything we need to know*) to call for change.

Not this year. No, a solid contingent of Redskins fans have gone the Mother Superior route and jumped the gun. Well, to be fair many of them picked up the gun and formed a firing squad with a variety of targets. Snyder, Cerrato, Zorn, Campbell, all found themselves in the not-actually-real cross hairs of many frustrated fans.

2) Here’s the thing. I understand that frustration. I completely, totally and thoroughly understand that frustration. I didn’t get to start watching the Redskins on TV until 1994, which, if you will recall (with a shudder) was the year Norval Turner arrived. I don’t need to recap the interceding 17 seasons for you, save to say that “wow, that sucks [plus profanity]” far outweighed “hooray” in my vocabulary. Not only do I understand the frustration, it’s pretty much all I know.

3) I am, often, accused of being a homer or irrationally optimistic or not invited to this party. WELL THEN DON’T LEAVE THE BACK WINDOW UNLOCKED. Sorry, got sidetracked. Here’s the thing about me, I’m actually a pragmatic guy. I like to stay grounded in a certain degree of realism. I’m not an idiot (mostly), nor am I operating under some illusion that the Redskins have had some successes that were hidden from the rest of the league or that they are a model franchise. But what my pragmatism does allow me to see is some semblance of progress by this organization.

4) Many fans, my father included, believe the team will never achieve any measure of consistent success so long as Snyder is the owner. And there are legitimate concerns with Snyder but some of those concerns are, if not wrong, at least not currently accurate. He gets ripped for free agent splashes but, the Lloyd and Archuletta signings aside, the team has avoided disastrous free agency ventures for the better part of three seasons now. And, it’s worth noting; free agent disasters are a league-wide phenomenon.

That isn’t meant to excuse mistakes so much as it’s meant to put them in context. He’s made Cerrato the de facto (if not de jure) GM and while neither the name nor the arrangement is ideal to many of you, it’s certainly better. Yes, I understand that you may be thinking, “Sure, it’s better in the same way that losing a finger is better than losing an arm.”

5) Fine, that’s valid. I’ve come to recognize that where Snyder is concerned, some people are not going to be happy until he’s gone. But given the very small likelihood of that, I prefer to see signs of growth from him as an owner rather than constantly railing against his almost inevitable reign as owner. This should not be taken as a defense of the man; I made that mistake once already.

There is a part of me that is fearful that Snyder will grow impatient with Zorn and blow this staff up as soon as he can get Cowher to start salivating with dollar signs. But it’s also unfair to act as if this newest staff was Snyder’s doing in that it came from a resignation. I would have opted for a greater degree of continuity with Gregg Williams, and I advocated for it, but he’s gone. Jim Zorn strikes me as a savvy and bright coach. And, since he is the coach, I’d prefer to believe he can have some success than assume his failure is all but written in stone.

6) I think it’s important to have perspective, to have the proper expectations for this team. It isn’t the end of the world to lose a close game to the defending Super Bowl champions. It’s stupid to suggest that nothing can work or people should be fired or benched based on that game. It isn’t horrible if the team goes 7-9 or 6-10 and we get to see signs of progress on the field. It’s just not realistic to expect this team to win a Super Bowl every season and especially this season**.

What I want most from this franchise is some stability. And it doesn’t mean I have blinders on for me to see some evidence of that stability. It’s not outside the realm of possibility to think that Snyder has learned from his mistakes as an owner. But it grows so tiresome to read and listen to the constant moaning and whining and anger.
I’m not suggesting that Snyder won’t do something rash with this team. Trust me, it’s not that I don’t hate seeing the same stupid mistakes, the offense that plays like it’s stuck in cement, the bad clock management, etc. But the team has played a grand total of ONE game. It doesn’t suggest an inability on my part to see the larger picture or some ingrained naiveté. It’s fair to say that unadulterated optimism is not equivalent to objectivity. However, that coin has two sides: unrelenting negativity is a sign of nothing more than a bias… and a decidedly boring one at that.

*That’s why the Lions won the championship last year
**I would be exceedingly happy to be proven wrong here

PS I just saw an awesome commercial whose central theme, and I’m quoting here, was “Rat Free DC.” It’s one thing to have a rat problem; it is another thing entirely to spend money on a campaign to remind your residents that rats aren’t exactly a selling point. I look forward to the “Crime: Knock That Off!” campaign.

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Stephen Zorio

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack | Washington Commanders

Six Pack

What follows is an answer to the chorus of complaints from the legions of fans tired of being distracted by “sensible” analysis, backed by “facts” and “knowledge.” If you seek shelter from the twin storms that are “reality” and “logic,” then this is your port of call.

1. Am I the only person expecting (hoping/wishing/praying with every ounce of my being) to see Dick Enberg eventually leave the broadcast booth mid-telecast, and begin prancing across the field while singing ‘I Feel Pretty’?

Perhaps the time has come to consider putting Dick out to pasture. Is the state of modern sports broadcasting so bad that it keeps people on-air who have clearly lost a step, or twelve?

2. On second thought, I would pay money to see a John Madden-Pat Summerall-Dick Enberg broadcast. Somehow, someone would wind up badly injured. Also, dear Randy Cross: You stink at calling out blitzes, please stop, also… WATCH OUT FOR THAT BLITZ! Gotcha! Old Randy falls for that one every time.

3. This is purely speculative, a guess at best, but I’m pretty certain that Jaguars quarterback Byron Leftwich is from the Washington, D.C. area. Hint to all you media types: that might warrant a mention; consider that some free advice.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you

4. The Redskins – Jaguars game was an emotional roller coaster, to wit: I had twelve heart attacks, three seizures, four strokes, gout, jaundice and I farted a few times.

5. Apropos of nothing, Tony Kornheiser and Joe Theismann are going to end up fighting on the air at some point this season on Monday Night Football. An exchange from Monday Night’s “thriller” (Hang ’em up, Brett):

Kornheiser: (Commenting on the speed of a Favre pass relative to a Major League fastball) “Yeah but in baseball they have mitts.”
Theismann: “The football is bigger”
Kornheiser: “Yeah but the players don’t have mitts”
Theismann: “The football … is bigger”
Kornheiser: “Still hurts”

Ugh … weak jokes, plus an ex-jock undercutting jokes that he doesn’t get, does not equal great television. I don’t find Kornheiser to be all that funny in the first place, and Theismann is … well, kind of embarrassing to the Redskins faithful. Also, thanks for finally settling the ‘which ball is bigger’ debate Joe, and yes, typing that made me giggle. Mike Tirico is too bland to play an effective referee; all we can hope for from the three of them is an on-air disaster.

6. The Redskins won again this week, and Mark Brunell played well for the second consecutive game. The boo-birds have been replaced by the ‘yeah-but’ birds and, frankly, both species are annoying. Here’s to moving a step closer to extinction.

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Stephen Zorio

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack | Washington Commanders

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Vikings

1. Purple Pounder People
The Vikings made the playoffs – after being whipped by the Redskins in the final game of the year. The Redskins almost kept the Vikings alive with a fumble and a sad INT, but the Redskins won. The smack talk was flying freely, especially from Vikings QB Dante Culpepper. The Redskins defense sacked, hurried, harassed and hurt the feelings of Culpepper before the day was done. Even with the win, the Skins showed more need for improvement. The Vikings showed that they’re just not good. It’s good to beat any team in the NFL, but beating good teams is the goal. With nothing on the line but the game at hand, our Redskins showed the heart of a contender.

2. Snyder at His Best
Daniel Snyder made an excellent move in bringing back Joe Gibbs. That one move may prove to be the thing he’s remembered for most. Some people, especially the mass media-doofs, love to bash Snyder. But his willingness to get Joe Gibbs is going to pay dividends for all Redskin Fans for many years to come. One AP-story quoted a fan yelling at Joe Gibbs – “Go back to NASCAR!” Please, if you happen to hear this from the guy in front of you – elbow him in the back of his fat head, for me? Gibbs will correct the mistakes, improve the offensive play-calling and beat the teams in the NFC East. I’m not good at being patient – but I’m surely happy to see Joe Gibbs back at the helm! I’m ready for Camp ’05!

3. MVP
There will be lots of candidates for this season’s Redskin MVP. Fred Smoot, Corny Griffin, Marcus Washington, should all get plenty of attention. But the MAN, the guy nobody drafted out of college; the guy that wasn’t even considered a “starter”; the guy we almost lost to the Vikings before the season ever began – Antonio Pierce. Pierce stepped in at MLB, called the defenses, made plays and showed tremendous ability. Michael Barrow was signed in the off-season to fill the MLB spot. He’s been on the IR all season, and should come to camp as Pierce’s backup. Pierce should have been voted to the Pro Bowl, but most of the NFL hasn’t heard of him yet… they will.

4. Welcome Back J.T.!
James Thrash is a welcome addition, one of the ‘core players’ Joe Gibbs is happy to have on the roster. After leaving the Skins for a brief stint in Philly, Thrash returned to his original team. He can do anything asked of him. He plays WR, covers kicks and punts, returns kicks and punts – he’d even play at DB if he’d been asked. His versatility, team-first attitude and hustle make him move valuable than some might think. It’s good to have him back – and he just may make others expendable.

5. Betts Gets Better
Ladell Betts had a great day in the final game of the season. His 118 yards made a huge difference in the victory. Betts busted through holes, made holes when there weren’t any and earned critical First Downs late in the game. An injury to Clinton Portis put Betts in the lineup, now he’s made a case for staying there. At the very least, Betts will find his way onto the field more often in the future.

6. Playing in 2006
The Skins will be a much better football team in 2006. Yes, 2006. 2005 will be a good year for the Skins and earn the team the right to play in 2006. I’m talking PLAYOFFS! When you look at the teams that made the playoffs – I’m not stretching too far. The Vikings? The Seahawks? The Redskins need to prepare themselves to win the NFC East. The Eagles are good – but not unbeatable. In fact, there isn’t a team in the NFL that the Skins don’t have a chance to beat – a vast change from years past. Set the bar high boys!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Cowboys

1. Upon Further Review
Well the refs didn’t win the game for the Cowboys, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. The sideline official attempted to give the Cowboys a First Down. Gibbs threw the flag and the call was reversed. It was a blatant attempt to cheat. The “call” was giving the Cowboy runner “imaginary forward progress” for two yards beyond the tackle. It wasn’t as if the play was difficult to judge – there happened to be big white line that the receiver didn’t cross. In cases such as this one, the referee should be fired and fined. I don’t care that the call was reversed anymore. The attempt to cheat, in plain view of everyone watching the game, was undeniable.

2. Royal’s New Celebration
Robert Royal’s TD celebration was vastly improved this week. Remember the “dog puking up green olives” dance from last week? It was replaced by a subtle, “Atlas” pose with one foot on top of the ball and both massive arms flexed. Mr. Royal, you are one impressive specimen! All this kid does is catch TD passes. Why not throw him a ball on Third-and-long? C’mon, he improved his dance; he catches the ball; he’s huge; he’s ignored by the other team all day long… why not? Cooley gets all the pub while Royal quietly produces. He also has the speed to beat defenders deep – oops – I forgot we don’t throw deep.

3. Skin-I-tus
It’s become classified as a mental-illness now. Being a Redskin Fan is officially a mental illness. Group sessions will be discussed at on a daily basis through the end of the season, the playoffs we should’ve been in, the Super Bowl, the Pro Bowl, the Draft and through Pre-Season. Next week is going to be a very painful week. Since you obviously don’t care what people think of you ( you are a Redskin Fan after all ), you need to follow these instructions carefully. Buy a cheap brand of aluminum foil. Next, tear off a piece as long as your arm. Then, wrap the foil around your head as a crown. Twist the foil top until it looks like a giant-Hershey’s Kiss. You’ll need this to prevent the invisible alien spaceship, that hovers twelve yards on the opposite side of the ball, from reading your thoughts. You know, those “I hope we win” or “I wish we’d throw the ——ing ball downfield” -type thoughts. Your will to win causes the invisible defense impediment to appear.

4. Rag Knots
Anti-Cowboys and Redskin Fans alike had plenty to discuss on Monday. A friend of mine asked, ” how could you lose to a bunch of rag knot faggits (FUH-JITZ) like the Cowboys?” I realized that he’d done two things with his question. One, he’d adequately summed up my feelings towards the Cowboys without using a single word I was familiar with. And two, he’d managed to insult my team worse by restating the fact that we’d lost to those rag knot faggits. The best I could come back with was, “Garly gosh a-hoopa, I don’t really know how.”
If anyone speaks Rag Knot, I’d love a translation.

5. Goats Aplenty
OK, pick one: Antonio Brown, Patrick Ramsey, Shawn Springs, Joe Gibbs, Joe Bugel, Jeff Chandler. Pick as many as you want. The simple fact of the matter is – we got beat. The true “goat” is the Redskins sickening lack of creativity and risk taking on offense. Defense did their jobs-aside from one play. Special Teams did their jobs-aside from one play. To say this Redskins offense is conservative is the understatement of 2004. Conservative? That would be the guy that walks around his car in the driveway, walks to the curb to check for kids on bikes, and then backs out slowly. Take the same guy, have him lock himself in a closet and beat himself silly with a baseball bat, for even thinking about getting in the car – you have the Redskins offense. Calling plays has become a lost art in DC. The once record-breaking offensive output has become a putrid, shameful, saw-dust fart of excuses for play-calling. Gee I thought I’d feel a lot better afterwords… oh well.

6. Final Game
The Skins face a determined Minnesota Viking team on Sunday. They have everything to gain and we have nothing to lose. Will we see the Skins open the offense up? Run trick plays? On-side kicks? Not a chance. The Vikings defense is on par with the French military in WWII. They basically call the other team name, under their breath, until the game is over. Their offense is quite potent. They do things on offense that most teams do – try to score TD’s. AHEM! Hint? This frustratingly pathetic season wraps up at home. Gibbs and the boys will be looking for performance. I hope we all get a win on Sunday. 2005 will be a MUCH better year.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: 49ers

1. A Weak “W”

In years past, Redskin Fans have been treated to watching the defeat of our beloved team by a hapless bunch of chumps like the 49’ers. This year, we have the pleasure of complaining that we didn’t win by a wide enough margin… or is it just me? The 49’ers have a woeful lack of talent, a putrid system and half their cheerleaders used to be men. The Redskins got the win, but this game should not have been close. I’ll take a weak win over a weak loss, but I’d really love to see our Redskins positively pound a team into the turf for 60 minutes. Were we saving something for this week’s game? Oh, that would be a huge GIFT!

2. Hands to the Face My Butt

After we were officially warned by the NFL that we would no longer be invited to the post game press conferences with the NFL Officials we’ve decided to be careful this week. Well, that’s not very likely now is it? This week the official actually had a flag in his hand with his arm cocked before the snap of the football. He’d decided to call some type of penalty on Fred Smoot – he’d just make it up after the play. Luckily for the official, the 49’ers ran a play on a quick count. By mistake the officials microphone was on as the play was whistled dead:
Umpire: What do you got?
Linesman: I threw a flag.
Umpire: Yeah, nice toss – did you see a penalty?
Linesman: Uh, I think so – it’s on Smoot – I hate that (bleep)
Umpire: Me too. Well you’ve gotta call something. Hands to the face?
Linesman: Yep, that’ll do.

3. Royal Dance

The Redskins were so bad in the redzone, because they were afraid Robert Royal would score another TD. Robert Royal’s dance was so bad that he’s not being allowed to score another TD this season. That’s really bad. Who cares if he’s open? Who needs touchdowns when we can get three easy points. My dog hurls exactly like Robert Royal dances. Now we have the name for Royal’s dance at least : Max Puking Green Olives. He’s doing OK now – but he puked when he saw Royal’s dance.

4. D to the Rescue

The defense saved the day for the Skins… again. This time they took their game to a whole new level – scoring points and setting up scores. Sean Taylor and Antonio Pierce shocked the San Fran crowd by returning interceptions to set up points and extra points. Shawn Springs was sorely missed, but this unit was simply awesome. The scary part was the seemingly desperate attempt to get the ball into the endzone – this should be noted by the offense. At some point this season, the offense needs to score so often that the defense doesn’t have to worry about scoring points.

5. Boys 1

The Dallas Cowboys are tied with the Redskins at 5-9. They’ve already won the first matchup with the Redskins and have their sights set on the playoffs. The Cowboys mystique is crumbling and the frustration in Dallas is easy to see. Julius Jones has taken over in the Cowboys backfield and he’s given their faithful plenty to cheer about. It’s payback time, made all the sweeter by the game to be hosted in Dallas. This time, the Redskins are clearly the better team. The only question is: Will the real Redskins please stand up?

6. Boys 2

The answer is YES. I’m hoping to see a Redskin come out and guarantee the victory in Dallas. If I do it – it just doesn’t carry the friction and weight I’m hoping to see. It’s time for this team to begin to earn wins and take the next step to be better. Are we ready? Uh, yeah – we’ve been ready for 10 years. This game has more than a win/loss record. It’s more than an NFC East game. This is a pressure game, on the road, against the damn Dallas Cowboys. Those fluky, get every call, every bounce, make you wanna-throw up- Dallas Cowboys. Looking forward, this game can be the trigger to our future success. Ready?

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Eagles II

1. Score Revised
If I wanted to watch a sexually confused zebra, I’d try to merge Queer Eye for the Straight Guy with the National Geographic Channel. Another bogus Pass Interference call gave the opposing team points – points that they were not going to have otherwise. Not enough to doom the Redskins – but enough to make a pretty damn big difference in the ballgame. Yet another example of pathetic officiating. Nice job boys! Then the crew attempted to spot a ball two yards beyond the spot where a tackle was made. This time, they were unsuccessful in their attempt to cheat – the Eagles were still short of the first down… Nice Try Boys!

2. Morale Victory?
I don’t buy the crap about Moral Victories. But the game against the Eagles could well result in a Morale Victory for the Redskins. One of their own was carted off the field. The officials cheated them throughout the game. They had misfires and mistakes throughout the game. Still, the Redskins never quit. Against the best team in the NFC, the Redskins outplayed, out-hustled and out-hit the Eagles. Other than the Steelers, no team has been able to dominate the Eagles – and certainly no team in the NFC. The Eagles were at their best and recored a “W” – but the Redskins may take more of a sense of TEAM and HEART from this game than the Eagles may have hoped. This team is on the verge of making a huge breakthrough – from pretender to contender… stay tuned.

3. No Names?
The Redskins are again being heralded for their style. But they’re also being called the next No Name Defense. Excuse me, but we have plenty of star quality – Sean Taylor, Marcus Washington and Corny Griffin are all among the best at their positions. All should be in the Pro-Bowl. Fred Smoot and Shawn Springs are two of the best CB’s in the NFL. How many names do we have to have to be not-No Names? Sure, a bunch of guys have stepped up and played well for injured players. Calling us No Names is worse than being called bad names – don’t forget to vote for the Pro Bowl!

4. Ramsey’s Hand
With Mark Brunell in the lineup, the Skins had very little chance to win. In the game against the Eagles, Ramsey outplayed Donovan McNabb. In spite of what some radio commentators have said, McNabb is one of the best in the NFL – no doubt about it. When a third-year guy, who should have been the starter from Day One – plays better than the guy that’s going to the Pro Bowl and maybe to the Super Bowl… that’s saying something. Sure it was a dumb throw at the end of the game. But he made plenty of plays to get the Redskins in a position to win the game. Before John Hall missed a potential FG, Ramsey flipped a perfectly tossed ball into the hands of H-back Chris Cooley. We can ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’ this to death – but Ramsey’s taking more heat for the loss than he deserves. There is one starting QB on our team – his name is Patrick Ramsey.

5. Men in Tights
OK picture this: A big fat guy – let’s say Andy Reid, wearing black tights. Now, imagine that he’s singing “Happy Birthday to You” in full Marylin Monroe-style. Watching Terrell Owens score a TD is sickening enough. All the talk of Andy Reid in tights is helping me lose some of the pounds I put on from Thanksgiving. What’s it doing for you?

6. Springing Back
Shawn Springs was involved in some of the biggest plays of the game against the Eagles. Early in the first quarter, he was flagged – bogusly- for pass interference against Terrell Owens giving the Eagles 47 yards and a First Down at the Skins 2-yard line. Springs gathered in a ball tipped by Sean Taylor for an interception. Springs was also injured late in the game. He’ll sit out a week – but Shawn Springs will be back. Springs has been a great source of Leadership by Example. The Skins can pay a tribute to Springs by bouncing back from a tough loss to beat the 49’ers without him this week. They owe it to him, and much more.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Giants II

1. Spanking the G-Stringers

At the opening kick-off, the Giants had all the momentum. It took the Redskins defense exactly three plays to get the ball back. The G-Stringers managed to drive the ball one yard – backwards. Thus the tone was set for the entire day. Ramsey was mistake-free, Portis ran harder than he’d run all season, Betts slugged his way through would-be tacklers and WR’s actually caught the football. All the while, the Skins defense punished Eli Manning and any other Giant who dared run with our football. It’s been too long since the Skins were on the delivery-end of a blow out. At the end of the game, the Skins up 31-7, and 2:03 on the clock – all I could think about was- JUST ONE MORE TD!

2. Ramsey’s Grip

Throwing to eight different receivers, without an interception, Patrick Ramsey showed us all why he should have been the starter from Day One. The Redskins picked up 27 first downs against the Giants, seven more than in the first meeting against the Giants. Ramsey was cool, composed and under control. The quarterback of the Washington Redskins has been found – now all we have to do is let him play. Ramsey is more than a “play-not-to-lose” QB. Better late than never – WAY TO GO PATRICK!

3. Pierce is the Glue

Very quietly, Antonio Pierce has been the glue holding the pieces together for the Skins defense this season. Pierce exemplifies the heart and determination of a champion. He wasn’t highly recruited out of Paramount High School and played for the Mount San Antonio Junior College before playing at the University of Arizona. Now, Pierce is the quarterback of one of the best defenses in Redskins history. Filling in for the injured Michael Barrow, Pierce is now the entrenched starter. There’s an unwritten rule in the NFL: Starters cannot lose their starting position due to injury. The rule doesn’t apply here. Barrow has yet to suit up for the Redskins with nagging injuries. Barrow is an All-Pro, a solid veteran and a good leader on the field. Antonio Pierce is the new “Mr. Redskin,” and it’s his job now and in the future.

4. Randy’s Hammy

Randy Thomas played against the Giants on Sunday. He had a severely strained hamstring and limped through enough practice to talk his way on to the field against the Giants. It’s just a little thing, but it shows how devoted this team is to winning. It also shows how much this team believes in Joe Gibbs. It would have been easy for Thomas to sit out a game, or more, with his injury. In last place in the NFC East, the playoff picture was bleak at best – Thomas begged the coaches to let him play. He showed tremendous guts and played his butt off! It may have been the turning point to the new ‘Joe Gibbs Era.’ The little things make a difference – and this was no little thing.

5. Contact Sport?

Oh PU-LEEEZE! Once again the fellas in the striped shirts have tossed a flag for “roughing the passer” on Sean Taylor. Taylor continues to do his job, and do it well. But the officials have a side bet on who can call the most 15-yard penalties on the rookie. This is ridiculous! Hey Zebras! What do you say we take up a collection and pay off the bet now. You pathetic, chumps (best I could do and still stay PG) need to let this kid play football. Any hit on T.O. is a clean hit – before the play, after the play or in the parking lot – he’s earned it. When reaching for your flags this week – we’re watching you. Wouldn’t it be funny if we all threw black and white flags on the field for every b.s. call they made? OK, we’re selling Sean Taylor Defense Fund, Zebra BS Flags for a buck a piece. How many do you want?

6. Mas Maas

Two weeks in a row, we’ve been treated to the color analysis of Bill Maas. Is it just me, or is he easier to take when the Skins are winning. OK, he did remind the audience of his stint in the NFL – again. This time, it didn’t bother me. Even as he licked the mustard off his Jeremy Shockey Swimsuit Calendar – it didn’t bother me. When he missed an obvious holding call against the Skins- just prior to the blocked punt… that didn’t even bother me. What the hell is wrong with me when I can’t enjoy ripping Bill Maas? Oh well, there’s always next week.

7. Philly’s Excuse

The Eagles have already clinched the NFC East. They’re healthy and playing good football in all phases of the game. They crushed the Packers in Philly last week, stopping Brett Favre from throwing a TD breaking his 36 game streak. Atlanta stumbled badly against he Bucs and are closest to the Eagles at 9-3. They beat the best the North had to offer already, and the South’s champ looks to be by default, and may be 8-8 by season’s end. The Eagles have been on top before, and failed. Without a doubt, they’re the best team in the NFC – bar none. So I sincerely hope they bring their best game to DC on Sunday without any excuses. The only way to know if we’re going the right direction is in beating a good team. This game is a true playoff game for the Redskins – lets see what we’ve got. I’m biased, but I’ll take the Skins in this one!

Note: One extra beer in the six pack this week… a celebratory beer.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Steelers

1. Special Ed

Not since the days of LeCharles McDaniel has the Redskins McSpecial Teams, LeStunk so badly as it did against the Steelers. Punt returns cost the Skins 10 points, indirectly, with outstanding field position. The Steelers Antwan Randle- El is a super player with great skills. At some point during the week, it “might” have been mentioned to a few of the special teams coverage unit… or not. In either case, this team cannot afford to play McSpecial Teams again.

2. Jerome Bettis Needs a Nickname

I’m amazed that a guy with as many years in the NFL as Jerome Bettis has amassed, he doesn’t have a nickname. How about Senor Giganto, referring to the fact that each butt cheek represents 20 % of his body mass. Maybe he could be named for some sort of large buttocks animal, like a hippopotamus? Maybe he could be named after a train or a truck? It’s really amazing to me that he truly doesn’t have a nickname. If you can think of one, please send it to

3. What’s Black and White

What’s black and white, throws yellow flags and bets on football games? Right, Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder and Pete Rose. NOT. It’s our old pals in the striped shirts at it again. Not only were there non-calls against obvious pass interference penalties against their team – the Steelers, but there were fake calls against the Redskins. They actually called Sean Taylor for a 15-yard, “Hurting the Feelings of a Steeler” Penalty. I hadn’t heard of that infraction prior to Sunday… maybe I should update my rule book.

4. Royal Missed

Robert Royal is finding his way into the open, but is routinely missed. While other WR’s continue to drop balls (hello Mr. Gardner, hello again, Mr. Gardner), and others pretend to throw flags instead of catching the damn ball (hello Mr. Coles, hello Mr. Coles, uhm… that’s your job Mr. Coles). Cooley can’t catch every pass on every play – why not throw to the guy that nobody expects the ball to go to – Robert Royal. He’s on the roster. He runs routes – and he’s open on almost every play. No, he’s not on my fantasy team!

5. No Maas

If I wanted to listen to a guy do a three-and-a-half hour imitation of John Madden, I’d pick Frank Caliendo – the comic from Mad TV. At least he’d be funny, at most, he’d actually be watching the same game as I was watching. Bill “Usta” Maas, earned his nickname because he, used to (usta) (YOU-STUH) play football. Just a little phrase that Bill uses prior to every other sentence. It’s even more frustrating when your team is getting beat, but I might watch the next game without sound.

6. G-Stringers

The New York Giants are limping, whining, playing second and third string guys against the Redskins on Sunday. Oh, you thought I was going to talk about the new, Jeremy Shockey calendar didn’t you? I hear he’s selling autographed, with or without mustard, for $10.00 a piece. Bill Maas bought two, with mustard. Outside of that sales boom, things have been slow. If there was ever a really good time to beat up on a sub par football team – it’s this Sunday against the Giants!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack