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Scooter’s 6 Pack: Eagles

1. One Crow Sandwich Over Here

OK, I was a bit out of line in declaring victory against the Eagles last week. The Eagles eventually took over the hard-fought contest. Still, The Skins had their opportunities and showed real flashes of becoming a contender. Until those flashes can be put together, we’re still pretenders. I’ll choke down the old crow sandwich with several brewsky’s…
Congrats to the Eagles…sfpit!

2. Officially Spread – EXCLUSIVE

It was a third and 10 from the Eagles 38 yard line. The Eagles were clinging to a 14-6 lead. Then McNabb dropped back and found Todd Pinkston on the sidelines. Replays clearly showed Pinkston’s foot out at the 46, resulting in a 4th and 2. The referees spotted the ball at the 50 and awarded a First Down. The play was challenged: Head Referee Walt Anderson made his way to the replay monitor, put on his headset and heard the following:
VOICE: What the hell do you thing you’re doing?(loud)
Ref Anderson: Uh, he stepped out on the 46 looks like- (interrupts)
VOICE: Hey! You owe us thirty (bleep) large. He’s at the 50! First Down! Putz!
Ref Anderson: OK then, I understand. Can I still take the OVER?
VOICE: Shut up and get back out there! And call interference on Smoot!

3. Taylor Made

Sean Taylor is becoming the player we all hoped he would become. The only thing is, if you’re going to hit Terrell Owens after the play – make it count. Sean Taylor’s beautiful, diving, all-star interception gave the Redskins an opportunity to make it a game on Sunday. The Skins failed to convert, and the effort was wasted. Still, Sean Taylor continued to punish Eagle ball carriers and would-be blockers. His size, speed, ball skills and mean streak are forming a little more every play. By the end of the season, Sean Taylor might be the best defensive player on the team – and that’s saying a lot!

4. Kenny, Katie and Brian – the Fox Crew

After the game, we met with the Fox broadcast crew of Kenny Albert and Brian Baldinger. They were accompanied by a large blow up doll with a pair of binoculars around it’s neck and a mechanics shirt with the name “Katie” sewn on a patch. “Who’s this,” I asked stupidly. Baldinger said, “this is our spotter, Katie.” OK… so what did you guys think of the game? Albert shrugged and Baldinger replied, “hitchy.” Hitchy? “Yep, it was hitchy. The Redskins ran that hitch all day. Katie and I are getting hitched. Oops, I think I’ve got the hitch-ups.” The blow up doll actually scrambled to the ground and began crawling for the doorway… sonofa hitch! Seriously, Baldinger used the word “hitch” a record number 6,342 times in one game – what insight.

5. One Beer Per Penalty = Huge Hangover

The Redskins offense self destructed on Sunday. Poor play-calling, missed opportunities and penalties cost the Skins any chance of victory. I thought drinking a beer after each penalty would help calm my nerves a bit. But on one possession, the Skins turned a promising 1st and Goal at the 10 yard line, to a 4th and 30, from the thirty yard line. Ray Brown and Chris Samuels, and Chris Samuels again flinched and held their own… things were blurry, and I woke up with my dog licking my face and three empty beers. Not to mention the six I’d had before that “drive.” In fact, I’m not sure that I drank all those beers. My dog slept in late the next morning and ordered a Bloody Mary for breakfast…hmmm.

6. Steel Test

At this point, the Redskins could simply shut it down and mail in the remainder of the season. You can bet that is not going to happen. The Skins travel to Pennsylvania again, this time to face the Steelers. The Steelers have beaten both the Eagles and the Patriots, while riding atop the AFC North. They are one of the NFL’s elite clubs. With young talent and tough veterans, they are formidable. If the Redskins have heart, they’ll be able to compete with the Steelers, and could keep the game close enough to steal. If not, we’re in for a long 10 weeks. C’mon Skins! Turn that frustration into raw focus and energy. Oh yeah, and you owe me $20 bucks and twelve pack for last week!… like they read my stuff.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Bengals

1. Are we there yet?

Coach Gibbs is driving the bus, and Redskin Fans are wondering how long it will take to get where we’re going. Frankly, I’m as thrilled today, as I was the day I found out that Joe Gibbs had agreed to return to DC. His biggest concerns are for the fans, the team, his coaches and Dan Snyder. He’s secure in his manhood and a terrific leader. All we have to do now is wait, be patient and let him do his job. We’ve turned a corner, and we’re on the way now. Coach Gibbs’ heart and integrity, combined with his hard-headedness and stubbornness will prove successful again in DC. Slow to change is better than unwilling to change. Note to self : try to be more patient.

2. Ramsey’s Due

Patrick Ramsey finally got his opportunity on Sunday. Facing a 17-0 deficit and multiple blitz packages throughout the game, Ramsey almost rallied the Skins. He’s been waiting in the wings, being a solid teammate and learning the system. He must take over at this point. Facing a 3 – 6 record, last in the NFC East (tied with Dallas), with the toughest of teams yet to come, the road for Ramsey will be tough. Still, Ramsey is due to become the Redskins leader. He’s due to show the talent, poise and ability we’ve all been waiting to see.

3. Clark Learning on the Run

The Giants told Ryan Clark he was too small to play in the NFL after two years with the team. Good thing he didn’t listen. Clark has filled in bravely for several injured Redskins. He wasn’t even listed on the opening day depth chart. But yesterday, Clark lead the team in tackles against the Bengals. In addition to tackles and passes defended, Clark has delivered some of the most punishing hits to the opposition. The more he plays, the better he gets. Ryan Clark is a football player, a snot-bubble knocking, hustling, give it all – football player. Keep it up Ryan!

4. Play Calling, Play Clock and Play Ball

Panic just doesn’t fit into a winning program. Sloppiness and disarray don’t fit either. The Skins need to put it all together, and do it soon. Clinton Portis is still going to be the best weapon we have – Ramsey can give it to him as good as anybody. Keep an eye on the play clock and audible. Audibles weren’t used in Ramsey’s first offense – courtesy of Steve Spurrier. Lastly, penalties are preventing the Skins from playing any type of meaningful football. Three things, three little things and we’ve got a good thing going… or will have.

5. Posts’ Headlines?

Nunyo Demasio, the writer for the Washington Post, didn’t watch the same game I did on Sunday. The story headlined, ‘ Redskins’ Defense Gets Picked Apart’, goes on to ramble and rant about how bad the Redskins defense played against the Bengals. Did he forget that the Bengals held the ball for over 20 minutes in the first half? Did he forget that Mark Brunell failed to convert a 3rd down? Did he forget that the Bengals first TD came off another Brunell interception? OK, maybe he didn’t notice that the Skins shut out the Bengals in the second half? The defense kept the Skins in the game, along with good special teams play… again. Yo Nunyo, you write for the Washington Post! Put down your pity party pen and take a look around.

6. Eagles Flying High

The Eagles are the best team in football, or one of the best. They’re good on offense, good on defense and good on special teams. They’re well coached, well motivated and hungry. Wouldn’t it be something to travel to Philly and beat them? We have a real opportunity to do just that. No I’m not kidding. In fact, you’ll hear it here first – The Redskins will beat the Eagles in Philly – I personally guarantee it!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Lions

1. Thumper’s Mama

Remember Thumper? Thumper’s Mama told him, ” if you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothin’ at all. I enacted Thumper’s Mama’s Rule for all comments related to Mark Brunell. I hear he can burp his own name to the tune of the ABC’s. He’s the third bestest QB on our team! During the game, my wife asked me repeatedly, “who was he throwing to.” My dog actually stopped chewing his rawhide bone and snickered. I’ve never wanted to slap Thumper’s Mama so hard in my life! But I’ll stick to the rule for Coach Gibbs.

2. Tom Terrific

Tom Tupa nailed down the Lions all day long. He had nine punts… for some unknown reason… for 431 yards. He pinnned the Lions inside the 20, a mind-blowing FIVE times. Every time the Lions thought they’d be in a position to score, Tupa would boot them in their gut. Through the years, we’ve suffered through some terrible punters – Tupa made me forget all their names – and all of the names I called them.

3. Thrashing

James Thrash is reminding Redskin fans just how talented he is – again. Since re-joining the Skins, Thrash has displayed his talents in any number of ways. His punt return set up a field goal… because the offense couldn’t drive the ball for some unknown reason… and he downed, tipped and thrashed the Lions all day long. Thrash is pushing for more playing time wherever and whenever he can.

4. D, Da Man

It doesn’t seem to matter who plays defense in Washington – they’re all playing great. Ryan Clark had a double-barrell, snot-bubble, knocking hit on Az-Hakim. Hakim had to change his name to Ouch-Hakim after the play. Corny Griffin and Big Joe Salave’a continue to step up, while Brandon Noble fights his way into the lineup. This is the best defensive unit the Redskins have had in years. Better than Ray Rhodes’ unit, better than Marvin Lewis’, Gregg Williams has this unit in top form – without top talent. Could this bunch of no-names be the best Skins D of all time? Too early to tell, but stay tuned…

5. Portis’ Shoulders

Clinton Portis shouldered the entire offensive load on Sunday. Running, busting tackles, catching the ball out of the back field and tossing a TD pass. It’s great watching a guy give his all on every play. He’s giving more than he’s asked, and it’s a darn good thing! His #26 jerseys are flying off the rack faster than any number in the Redskins team store… with good reason.

6. Lions, Tigers and Bears

With the Lions and Bears out of the way, the Skins must now take on the Bengal Tigers. The Bengals whipped the hapless Cowboys on Sunday and are playing good team ball. Youngster Carson Palmer leads the Bengal offense – and I already feel sorry for him. The Skins former defensive coordinator, Marvin Lewis, runs the Bengals defense. They’re young, talented and hungry – time to tame the Bengals!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Packers

1. So Close

When Clinton Portis ran into the endzone, I was rounding the sofa with both hands in the air. I was yelling something, mostly for the sake of yelling. My dog was jumping up and down, then she turned suddenly toward the TV. What do you mean, “a flag.” The penalty was correct, even if it was Mickey Mouse. The missed interference call, resulting in the interception, sealed the defeat. The Redskins didn’t play their best football, but we were in the game until the end. Small victory? No, not for me either.

2. Hail Mary – you ain’t kidding!

With :07 on the clock, the ball at our own 45-yard-line, in the first half of Sunday’s game – the ‘Hail Mary’ was called. This was no usual ‘Hail Mary,’ Mark Brunell couldn’t throw the ball into the endzone. It was batted down, like most Hail Mary’s are. But this one was batted down at the 10-yard-line. The set of circumstances required for a Brunell pass to travel 60 yards are: Hurricane force winds; A very big seagull, who is also very hungry; The seagull then spitting out the ball after carrying it 10 yards. Hail Mary’s don’t belong in our playbook with Brunell at the helm.

3. What Time Is It?

I like Mark Brunell. I think he’s an upstanding, give-it-all-you-got, team-first, very smart guy. The problem? He can’t buy time, borrow time, run, throw or manage the clock… he’s really, really nice though. It’s Ramsey Time! In fact, it’s been Ramsey time for weeks. It’s been Ramsey time all season. Well, better late than never. But ‘late’ is going to be another week of watching the same old guy, not making the same old plays. It’s not only time for a change, it’s been time to change since the first day of training camp. Or, maybe we could find a 13 foot tall WR? C’mon Coach, put the kid in!

4. D-liver Us

The defense played another solid game against the Packers. Brett Favre is, and has been one of the best to play the position in the history of the game. Still, the Skins shut down the Packers run game; held the Pack to 3- second half-points; and forced enough turnovers to keep the Skins in the game. It’s hard to pinpoint one player, because this unit plays so well together. The defense has kept the Redskins in every game to-date. Now, if they could just find a way to put points on the board – they could deliver us a win!

5. Note to Sean Taylor

There have been several talented guys that never had success in the NFL. Jeff George had so much talent, he got five chances to prove himself. In the end, he was as in the beginning, a punk with talent. Sean Taylor has more raw talent than any football player on the Redskins roster – bar none. People pay money and watch their TV’s to see players like Sean Taylor play. Instead, he wasn’t even on the sidelines vs. the Packers. Rightfully so, Coach Gibbs “rested” the young star. Everybody makes mistakes, but most of us don’t make mistakes that everyone hears about on a daily basis. I hope and believe that Sean Taylor will become a superstar – on and off the field. It took me 30 years to grow up, but it’s better late than never. In the NFL, the clock starts ticking early – I’m pulling for you Sean!

6. Lambs to Lions

Steve Mariucci is building a winner in Detroit – of all places. Veterans and youngsters in the Motor City are starting to think they can win. While many around the league still consider Detroit an easy “W,” as did the Giants and Falcons. The Lions are on the verge of becoming a good team. At 4-3, they’re not there yet, but they are moving in the right direction. The Skins shouldn’t consider any team an easy “W,” especially not this Lions team – in Detroit. Certainly, they are beatable – but don’t take them lightly. The Lambs have become Lions.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Bears

1. Feeling Smooty Good

Watching Fred Smoot play Sunday was an inspiration. Smoot was in obvious pain with a damaged right shoulder. It didn’t keep him from throwing that shoulder into Bear ball carriers. Each time, he would get up and get ready to go play again. The whole team began to feel a little Smooty. Clinton Portis carried the load on offense, in spite of having his head nearly ripped off by Brian Urlacher. He was feelin’ Smooty Good! Mike Sellers pounded defenders all day long – Smootyful. Corny Griffin shut down the run and chased players across the field… Smooty-foot. Are you feeling Smooty this morning?

2. Da D Does It … Again

With Brunell tossing as many INT’s for TD’s as TD’s, the Skins defense held the Bears to a FG. No matter who steps in, Lemar Marshall, Ryan Clark…the Skins defense plays solidly. Coaches, starters and backups are working together better than any unit in recent memory. One request though fellas, could you score us some points?

3. Dumb by Tim Green

When your team is playing good football, consistently, the network sends real announcers to call your game. In our case, we get Tim Green as our color-man. Green bragged that he’d had a conversation with Portis the night before the game and asked him, “Do you ever want to just run the ball?” Brilliant! Demetric Evans was busy changing his name to Demetric Jones and back to Demetric Evans within an eight second span – according to Green. “Hey, I writed a book.”

4. Dumber by Tim Green

Thankfully, as I was shouting, “Oh just shut the hell up Green,” it happened. With 52 seconds left on the clock, the Direct TV signal lost audio. If you really want to hear what he had to say – had a special connection:

Green: You know, watching that sack reminded me, I hate pop-corn.
Real Announcer Stuck with Green: What?
Green: Yeah, I got a piece stuck in my belly button once. Had to dig it out with a paper clip. It tasted salty.
Real Announcer Stuck with Green: Thanks?… Tim.
Green: You red my book yet?

… and you thought you’d missed something.

5. Mission: Block Alex Brown

OK, so the best all-time DE in NFL history is??? Alex Brown. At least that’s how he was made to look by the Redskins offensive line Sunday. “He’s matched up against Chris Samuels,” SHUT UP TIM! Walter Rasby was out-matched against the talented second-year man. The Skins adjustment for blocking Brown was simple – Hey Walter, mind blocking that guy this time? It didn’t work out too well. No offense to Brown, he’s a good young DE, but unblockable?

6. Bye Week

Don’t stray too far from for the bye week. We have a good line-up coming this week. Including a tribute to NFL, American hero, Pat Tillman. The boards are still active and members are on the rise. I’d like to dedicate this to the Boss Hog himself – Boss, thanks for everything you do for this site!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Ravens

1. Defense Falling Down on the Job

The Skins defense isn’t getting the job done. Oh sure, they’re hitting people, defending the pass, slowing the run and holding offenses to FG’s and FG attempts… but that’s just not enough. The Skins D needs to score 16 points a game in order for the Skins to win. To be near the top in all defensive statistics ain’t gonna cut it! Since the Skins D is going to hog up the field 70% of the time – why aren’t they scoring any points? Now, you may read this and think – Scooter just got a job as a Color-Man for Fox. No, I just had to find another way to say – the Skins defense was superb… again. Keep it up fellas! Oh, and score some darn points wouldya?

2. Defensible?

I had the pleasure of meeting Joe Bugel while he was the HC in AZ. He’s a warm, bright, energetic, brilliant person. I can assure you that nobody is more upset about the lack of production in the Redskins offense. There is no defense for the indefensible. Bugel and Gibbs are loyal – to a fault. There won’t be any “quick fixes” installed in the system. Cutting back on mistakes, penalties and turnovers will be the focus. Even with those changes, this offense is far too conservative and defensible. If the best defense is a good offense… well, that doesn’t apply to our team.

3. In the Booth

I know Coach Gibbs has a guy in the booth that reviews replays. His job is to signal Coach when he thinks we should request a replay. Apparently, he’s a former NFL official equipped with his own monitor and a headset. So far, he’s 0-for-the season. From the bottom of my heart, let me express, for all Redskin Fans, “Dude, you suck.” No wonder you’re not an NFL official today. Do you know how hard it is to get fired as an NFL official. It’s harder than getting fired from the DMV! Anyone interested in applying for this job – it’s going to be open soon. Qualifications: At least one good eye; Must stay partially sober during the game; Must have one available digit; Must be able to say, “Trow da red flag.” Pay: $45,000 per year. Send your resume to

4. Time Outs

The Skins need a Time Out Coach, while we’re hiring. I never thought I’d see the day that I could say something good about former Redskins QB Tony Banks, and that day still hasn’t come. But the closest I can get is – Tony Banks was better at calling Time Outs than Brunell. With Time-Outs left, the Skins have taken knees at the end of the first half and decent field position. Time-Outs are called like someone is spinning the Wheel of Fortune. “Spit, Curse, Shrug Shoulders, Fumble, False Start, Holding, Say What?, Derskie and Time-Out are all on the board.” Now, give the wheel a spin…

5. Ramsey Time

I know that Gibbs and Bugel aren’t going to pull Mark Brunell out as the starter. But there’s really no reason why Ramsey couldn’t run two-point conversions; go in for a series while Brunell is getting oxygen; or just play the third quarter. I know, I know, it’s not going to happen. But we have a young, experienced, rifle armed, fleet-footed QB sitting on the bench right now. His only playing time came in the second-worst game in Redskins history. His play did match that of Brunell though. Ramsey needs playing time – sometime. Mop up work? Are you kidding?

6. Chi Town

The Skins travel to the Windy City on Sunday. The Bears have played surprisingly well all year. They lost to the Lions in Week One, beat the Packers in Week Two – in Green Bay… who hasn’t?, Lost to the Vikes by 5 and lost to the Eagles at home without their starting QB. Backup QB, Jonathan Quinn will play against the Redskins. The Bears are weak, execute poorly and haven’t played a complete ball game this season. In other words, it’ll be a good match-up. This may be just what the Skins need to break out of their slump. I hope so, I’ve thrown shoes, socks, shirts hat’s and beer bottles. I’m now required to watch the Skins in my undies and drink beer out of aluminum cans and whisper cuss words. The cops said they didn’t want to come back out here again… man, I need a Win.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Browns

1. Is My Slip Showing?

The NFL is on the verge of the dawning of a new day, Flag Football. In addition to an absurd number of irrelevant flags, with no effect on a given play, the NFL officials are interpreting any contact between any defender and any QB as illegal. In the case of Jeff Garcia and the Redskins, two penalties were called because Jeff Garcia was tackled. The hits were clean, they were within the two-step, not at the head of the QB, in-bounds, not at, or below the knee… c’mon. Let’s all just put on skirts and play flag football. Yes, the NFL’s slip is showing.

2. Gregg Williams – the best coach in DC.

I love Joe Bugel. I consider Joe Gibbs to be saintly. But the best coach in DC is Gregg Williams. Williams is the field general in command of the Skins defensive unit. Williams has the Redskins playing at the highest level in many years. Hidden outside the stats that show the unit, at, or near the top of the NFL, the Skins defense has excelled in tough situations. My feelings haven’t changed for Bugel, nor Gibbs. But Gregg Williams has proven himself beyond any doubt – he’s the best coach in DC right now. Without him, the Skins would not have had any opportunity for victory. The only thing his defense has yet to do – score points. So I’m here to ask for just that – Coach Williams would you please put up some points for the team?

3. Are they Dancing?

Watching the Redskins offense reminded me of joke – in so many ways. Specifically, do you know why Baptists don’t make love standing up? Because if another Baptist saw them, they’d be accused of dancing. It’s not even funny, but neither is this Redskins offense. False starts, fumbles, blown assignments, missed receivers… this is like a boring circus act. This offense is predictable, boring and ineffective. Against one of the NFL’s least talented teams – the offense did little more than struggle. I’ve got a buddy who used to be a police officer. He shot himself in the foot while holstering his weapon. Then, on his fifth day back on the job… same thing. Next time I see him – he shall be dubbed, S.O.U -Skins Offensive Unit. Then I’ll run, what’s he gonna do – chase me?

4. Coles, Coles, Coles

My man, Laveranues Coles had a great comeback from his dismal performance against the Cowboys last week. He had seven catches for 122 yards, and was Mark Brunell’s favorite target for the day. Coles dropped a ball late in the game, squelching any hope for a Redskins comeback. But, Coles fumble didn’t cost the Skins the game. I pounced on him last week, but he responded as well as he possibly could. The only thing I’m gonna ask of Coles, is to tell Brunell he’s not the only WR on the team. Brunell threw to Coles, who caught almost everything, while Rod Gardner was open most of the day. Coles isn’t a go-to-guy, he’s the only-WR-on-the-damn-field-guy. Something’s gotta give…soon.

5. Oxygen

I was driving home with my wife the other night, and a rabbit darted out in front of us. I saw it, hit the brakes and avoided the little bugger, and without the use of oxygen. My wife has a way of making a noise, a quick inhale that removes all available oxygen…is it just me? Every time Clinton Portis touches the ball – same sound. She sees something in him. I think we all do. Just as he did against the Bucs in Week One, Portis has the ability to be a game-breaker. It’s that potential that keeps us on the edge of our seats. Portis has done a poor job of hanging on to the football, and it’s cost the Redskins dearly. I don’t mind going without air for a few minutes, seeing spots and a little dizziness – if Portis is taking the ball into the end zone. But when he fumbles, I don’t have the luxury of saying all the things I’d like to say… because of the lack of oxygen-thing. Please, be the TD-scoring-Portis. The fumble-Portis is killing me.

6. Rumble in Maryland

This week, the rumble between the Ravens and Redskins brings the fight home. The Ravens are coming off a disappointing loss, sound familiar? They’re struggling on offense, with one of the best RB’s in the league, sound familiar? They have a talented defense with a mix of young players and experienced veterans…hum? The Ravens come to Fed Ex Field needing everything the Redskins need – a WIN. This game will be a gut check, especially for the Redskins. In their own home field, against a good team – the Redskins must respond. Redskin Pride is on the line Sunday Night!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Cowboys

1. Save a Horse, Ride a Zebra

The Cowboys didn’t need to ride their horses in DC, they rode the NFL’s finest zebras. The score, Redskins 18, Zebras 14, Cowboys 7. This may sound like sour grapes to some – you better believe it! The referees decided the game on Monday Night. A pathetically inept crew of useless individuals in striped shirts decided the game. An obvious Offensive Pass Interference Penalty was instead called against the Redskins. As Rod Gardner was reaching for a ball in the end zone a Cowboy DB tugged on his left shoulder. The referee was overheard to say – aw, how cute. No flag on the play. A hard fought game was decided by the boys in striped shirts. Instead of watching a football game, viewers were treated to a poker game. The refs were the dealers, shuffling through the deck to give the edge to one player – the Cowboys were given the game.

2. Anatomy of an Apology

In the coming days, we as Redskin Fans will see an “Official Apology” from the NFL. None of the officials will lose their jobs. The outcome will not be changed. The league will state that the officials made a mistake and an apology will be put forth. I believe I speak for all Redskin fans when I say – don’t bother. OK, you might have said something different…using words like, “shove” and “stick.” But we’re on the same page. Whatever happens will not be enough – so why bother.

3. Ice Coles

I’m a big fan of Laveranues Coles. He’s been through a lot as a person. He comes from a single-parent-home and has fought to earn his way in the NFL. His performance on Monday Night was as bad as any performance I’ve ever witnessed. This one ranks with the lowest of the low – Gus slams his own head; Turk turked it up; Novaldumas. Coles shouldn’t see action next week. He also owes me $4,372.05. I have a “cuss jar” that is now full – thanks to Coles. My wife and I are going to Cancun with all the words I spent in expressing my “feelings” towards Coles and his feeble effort. How much does he owe you?

4. Hot Rod

On the flip side, Rod Gardner was on FIRE! He caught everything thrown his way – except for being interfered with as previously discussed. Gardner caught long balls, fast balls, first-downs, touchdowns and extra points. At the end of the game, with the clock winding down, Gardner made a heroic effort to catch a ball and get out of bounds. But he couldn’t will the Redskins to victory. But it wasn’t for lack of trying. Monday Night against the Cowboys was a true, break-out game for Gardner. He IS the Redskins #1 WR.

5. D

The Skins defense played another good game. Three plays were given up by the Skins defense. Antonio Bryant out-played Fred Smoot on a ball that Smoot had in his sights. The Pokes executed a perfect trick play for a score. With the clock dwindling, and the Skins having wasted their time-outs, they gave up a nine-yard pass play on a critical 3 & 8. That’s it! The remainder of the game was dominated by the Skins defense. The Cowboys were 5 of 13 in third down conversions. They Cowboys had 50 rushing yards and held the ball for 10 minutes less than the Redskins. The Skins defense played well enough to get the Skins a win. Still, they didn’t score any points for the Skins – which it looks like they’ll have to do in the future. Smoot included, this unit played a great game!

6. Dubious

Al Michaels correctly dubbed the Pass Interference call against the Skins as, “dubious.” Then Michaels fell in love with the word. He used it again to describe an obvious non-call, detrimental to the Skins effort. Then he requested a song by the Dubious Brothers be played while he closed the show. He then went to his hotel room and smoked two dubious. He watched Debbie does Dubious in his hotel room. If I could come up with four more ways to use the word, “dubious,” we’d have used it as many times as Al “Dubious” Michaels. Yo Al! Buy a thesaurus!

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Giants

1. Hexed
There is simply an unusual air in Giants Stadium. Until Sunday, I didn’t even know that I had Smell-A-Vision… but I’m certain I smelled something. (Especially when Chris Collinsworth openned his mouth – don’t wanna know where he’s been nor what he’s put in his mouth). The Skins turned the ball over EIGHT times – Three Fumbles, Four INT’s and once on downs. Still the Skins were in the game until the very last snap… which was fumbled. It’s over – but we’ve gotta learn from it.

2. Inside Turnovers
Clinton Portis doesn’t fumble… at least not until last Sunday. The hits weren’t unusually hard, but the ball was on the ground far too often from Portis. We all make mistakes – but when superstars make mistakes it’s tougher to digest. It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Nothing we can do about it – hard as we may try – but just sit there with stupid looks on our faces and mutter words with lots of alliteration. This too shall pass – really, it will pass. The Skins will learn to take care of the football. Ramsey and Brunell will learn to THROW THE BALL AWAY! I’m having t-shirts printed – “when in doubt THROW THE BALL AWAY into the third row”.

3. Sputter, Cough and Drops
I had a lawnmower that started the first time out of the box. Every time I tried to start it afterwards, it sputtered, coughed and shook – as if I were simply asking the impossible. Remind you of anything? No, if my lawnmower could haul itself up to the top of my roof and drop itself onto well placed rocks… eight times then it might remind you of something. Yep, the Redskins offense. The offense has been offensive in so many ways. The Offense has given up more points that the Redskins Defense has allowed all year. I guess we’re not asking enough of our defense – now they need to score at least 7 points a game to get a “W.” Drops, penalties, and turnovers don’t make anyone in burgundy and gold happy. If you take your children anywhere near Redskin Park this week, you better cover their ears!

4. Shockey a Star?
Tight ends generally do two things to become successful in the NFL – block and catch passes. Shockey does neither very well. He blocks about as well as Deion tackles. The catches about as well as… I guess I don’t have much room to talk here. The Redskins had six drops by my count on Sunday. But Shockey is hailed as “One of the best TE’s in the NFL – if not THE best.” What? I don’t like the G-men anyway – but to call any of them…”one of the best” is simply stupid. That includes ol’ gap tooth, fake sacker, I don’t like my coach – Strahan. The G’men were handed the game, over and over, and over eight times… and STILL almost couldn’t take it.

5. Morton Salty
Even though he didn’t put points on the board, Chad Morton was salty on Sunday. Morton should be more involved in the Skins offense. The Skins offense needs something… Morton just may provide the added ingredient needed. Morton is slippery, shakes and bakes, and gives everything he’s got on every play. At 5-8, 200 lbs. he’s a little guy in a big-guy’s game. As the offense struggles, Morton is relegated to punt and kickoff returns… not enough for my taste.

6. September Super Bowl
I don’t know about Skins fans in other parts of the world – but Skins fans in my neighborhood are preparing for one of, at least two Super Bowls on Monday Night. The neighbors – who don’t know me – have been warned of forthcoming yalps. The phone will be off the hook, the big screen/surround sound will be on, my dog Jake will be wearing his Redskins bandana and I will be glued to the sofa. The outcome of this game will determine the success of this season for me. This time, the Redskins will be ready for the Boys from Dallas. The little hairs are standing up on the back of my neck as we speak! This IS the Super Bowl for me… let’s talk next week.

– Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack

Scooter’s 6 Pack: Bucs

1. D – Lightful

The Redskins Defense won the game against the Bucs on Sunday. D-line: applied pressure, sacks and batted balls to the turf. D-linebackers: blitzed, defended passes and overall stumped the Bucs. D-db’s did the rest. Top to bottom, the Skins defensive unit – including Gregg Williams and crew – busted the Bucs. The only points surrendered were due to one sloppy hand-off, giving the Bucs a TD. And one poor kick-off return, the Bucs offense gained a total of five-yards on the Field Goal scoring drive. That’s it! 10 points and none of them were at the hands of the Skins defense.

2. Best Coach in DC?

OK, Gibbs and Bugel are back. But could it be that the best coach on the field Sunday was Gregg Williams? Williams, the Assistant Head Coach -Defense and his crew had the Redskins primed for battle. Matt Bowen, Jermaine Haley, Ron Warner, Antonio Pierce – none are household names, but all performed brilliantly against the high-powered Buccanneer offense. I keep telling myself, ‘ self, it’s only one game.’ But the turnaround was nothing less than stunning. I’ll ask you – Is Gregg Williams the best coach in DC?

3. Hynotic Transfer

While the Bucs studied for their game, a subliminal message was slipped into their game tape…’ your hands have been switched. Right is now left. Left is now right.’ The confusion spread to the field as the Bucs WR’s dropped ball after ball. Certainly, part of the problem was the sound of thundering footsteps approaching. But the Bucs WR’s looked pathetic. I almost felt sorry for them… almost.

4. Smooooot!

For the past three seasons, Fred Smoot has played in the shadow of his mentor – Champ Bailey. But now he has the unique opportunity to become THE Redskins ‘shutdown corner.’ Teams in the NFL may be slow to catch on, but Smoot IS a bonafide shutdown corner. Skins fans have responded to Smoot’s energy, ability and fire. Listen to the crowd, it’s not a boo… it’s SMOOOOOOOOT!

5. Offense Drags

The Skins offense was adequate. Not good enough to beat a good team on a good day – but good enough when your defense surrenders ZERO points. Clinton Portis made the most of his touches and the offensive line played relatively well. The play-calling was suspect and drives tended to sputter. OK, again it’s only one game… but the Skins offense needs a swift kick in the butt… before next week’s game.

6. G-men Await

The Giants showed signs of life against Philadelphia last week. Shockey is still the obnoxious, ball-dropping, cry-baby he’s been for the past three seasons. The once powerful Giants defense, looked sleepy and strained. Traveling to New York has never been easy for the Redskins. Like last week, we simply need to find a way to win. If we happen to find a way to win by more than 20 points… all the better.

— Scooter

Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Scott Moore

Categories Posted In Archive: Scooter's 6 Pack