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Meet Major Tuddy – The Washington Commanders New Mascot

By Mark Solway | January 12th, 2023

Do you know what a tuddy is? Are you hip? You must know then, that a tuddy is what all the young ‘uns are calling a touchdown these days. You knew that, right? Just ignore the fact that tuddy is also a euphemism for the buttocks.

The new Commanders mascot is a cartoon pig named Major Tuddy.

So what if Washington hasn’t had a mascot for their entire 90 year history? They need one now that they are the Washington Commanders. They have to establish that new brand. They have to fortify that look and feel of having a military tone.

So of course they chose a… cartoon pig.

Say what?

That’s right.

Obviously this tuddy refers to a touchdown, not a butt.

Don’t worry, the mascot is decked out in military clothing. So that makes it all make sense.

The franchise revealed in the off-season that as part of the company re-brand, they were going to have a fan vote on what the new mascot would be. Commanders fans love fan votes – that’s how the name Commanders was chosen.

However, there has been some speculation that only two fans actually chose the name Commanders.

Not coincidentally, they both have the last name Snyder.

1 Choices

In September the team had narrowed the search to either a dog or a hog. After all, both of those two things absolutely scream military. Don’t they?

If you have a puzzled look on your face, don’t worry, you are not alone.

This website loves pigs. Adores them even. Bad pig puns and clichés have long been trademarks of blogs here.

For twenty years plus, the site has tried to honor and remember the golden olden days, when the real Hogs were in town. But there is zero reason to associate the current product with the past. Let alone with Hogs.

The proud offensive line of the 1980’s and early 1990’s were directly responsible for Washington’s three Super Bowls. They were a formidable group that deserves far better than to be in any way attached to the travesty that exists in Washington now.

That’s probably why the mascot choice may very well land Dan Snyder in court for the 923rd time this year. Okay, that’s not an accurate number, but it feels that way to the on-looking mob.

Who is behind the litigation?

The group of guys that the franchise is pretending to pay homage to.

2 Pig In A Poke

The O-Line Entertainment LLC is a group formed by original Hogs offensive linemen Jacoby, May, Riggins, Dean, and Walker. They own two trademarks – Hogs and Original Hogs.

Somewhat ironically, a pig in a poke is an idiom that refers to when someone buys something without inspecting it properly.

O-Line Entertainment LLC’s attorney Seth Berenzweig said before the unveiling, “If they go forward on Sunday and make the hog their mascot and try to trademark it, we are going to be forced into trademark infringement litigation.”

So of course the Commanders went full steam ahead and did it anyway. That’s what they do.

Pig in a poke.

They rolled out a pig in a battle helmet and acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. And like they had inspected it properly.

3 Like Pigs To Slaughter

Perhaps the most frightening thing of all is that there are fans still eating this nonsense up. Fans who would leap to the side of Major Tuddy and defend the choice. They would have you believe that the franchise is just celebrating the former offensive line.

It’s hard to say what’s more unpredictable – the organization’s gaffes, or the public’s response to them.

What will the franchise do next?

If you were to check the NFL future odds to see what sort of payoff you can get on the Commanders winning a Super Bowl – they’d surely be better than the kind of odds that you would get on choosing Major Tuddy as the new mascot. That must have paid off, at a minimum of 500,000 to 1.

There’s nobody on earth that upon hearing the name Commanders thought, “there has to be a pig associated with this somehow.”

And yet, it has come to pass.

4 Pigsty

Good golly, what a mess.

In hindsight, they probably should have given Major Tuddy some wings.

After all, at this point it seems that Washington won’t make it back to the Super Bowl until pigs can fly.

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Categories Posted In | News | Washington Commanders |